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My Day With My Boudoir By Pam

16 May

So, earrings I need to get some stud earrings for today! I quickly drive over to the big tesco, and grab myself a couple of stud earrings along with a new tunic and pair of casual shoes which i don’t really need! ( a couple of days later all the buttons will fall of that tunic and I will have to improvise how I wear mid- Beyonce concert!).

I sit down with a coffee in the cafe and contemplate how the day will go. A little over a month ago, I won a competition from Fuller figure Fuller Bust to have a make over boudoir shoot with My Boudoir. I don’t normally do competitions, but entered because I just loved what was being asked: write a love letter to yourself. I did and I was the lucky winner. Since then I was scouring Nicola’s website, internet and my brain was going into overload about my lucky prize.

Honestly, I was so excited, knowing what Georgina stands for and having seen Nicola’s and Sarah’s work, I knew I was in the hands of an arti-gicians. Half artists, half magicians! I knew I would be made to look fabulous, all I had to do was enjoy the day.

I turned up at Nicola’s with the biggest suitcase, full of sari’s, shoes, accessories, hair extensions and ideas of voluptuous nakedness!

I loved Nicola straight away, it’s like you’re immediately long lost friends and that’s saying something considering the first thing we did was lug my supersize suitcase, guitar and cupcakes up a rather steep hill, but the adrenaline was already pumping. Nicola welcomed me in at which point I met the other two most important people of the day, Sarah Elliott for MUAH and Normie for general cuteness and moral support!

Over a cup of coffee we just chatted, about me, the things I like, expectations of the day. I was asked at one point, what parts I liked least.. I said I had bra scars and rather dry elbows! For me, this was my chance to mark a milestone in my life, like my tattoos, everytime I view these pics they would take me back to this day, a couple of weeks before my wedding to the most awesome man, (sorry other men!) a time in my life when I am extremely happy being who I am, in a place surrounded by my friends and family who also accept me for me. This was my chance to have a true professionals do their thing and all I had to do was what they told me to.

I did specifically ask Nicola to get my love bumps into shot, for me, I love my body and its wibbly wobbliness, me love bumps have always been a part of me, have never hindered me and I did not want to hide them away.

As the day went on, and I went from one outfit to another to none, it literally got better and better, it was hard for me to pose as I had to have a neutral face but inside I was bursting with happiness and all I wanted to do was smile. My favourite shot of the day is one which actually I will not be sharing online, it’s my nuddy shot, it’s me with my curves, and lumps and bumps and it’s me.. i feel it captures my soul and everything about me and it’s mine. On a bad day I look at it and go “Woah” and even better so does my man! lol!

Thanks Nicola, Sarah and Georgina for making this happen. It’s extraordinary gift you’ve given to a fellow woman and I wish at some point if not every day of their lives, all women: skinny, fat, curvy, slender, round, pear, athletic whoever they are and wherever they be also feel this way, confident in themselves and empowering and supporting each other.

Mucho love, you sexy ladies xxx

satin romance

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A Story Of A Random Girl Who Could Be Anybody And May Help Somebody – A Guest Post

3 May

Hello George! I just wanted to tell you, first and foremost, you are such an inspirational writer, body positivity leader, and over all wonderful human being. I am a regular reader of yours, since I started regularly following you this last August. I have been on and up and down weight loss journey since I was ten years old, believe it or not. my parents instilled in me the only way I could attract a man was to “look good” since I have various medical issues that would otherwise turn one off to being with me. Which I, in turn, have discovered is complete bull. But I would very much like to share my story with you, if that’s alright?

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The above picture is one I took today, actually. April 23, 2013. I am twenty years old in this picture, this summer, July ninth, I will be twenty one. Today I woke up feeling awfully disgusted with myself. And these days happen every now and then. I recently started a healthy journey to getting fit. Before, it was eating disorders, crash diets, exercising till I passed out, and so on. I still wake up every now and then completely disgusted with myself. It happens to everyone, I have come to accept that now. It used to be a regular morning ritual of mine to stand naked in the mirror staring at every crevice every dimple, every inconspicuous flaw I had, and focusing on each individual one for about twenty minutes. With special attention directed towards my stomach (hence the photo I am sending along with this message). I have the worst insecurity over my stomach still. It drives me crazy, all the time. Always worrying if it shows through clothing, my little pooch at the bottom. If you can believe it, I used to be so derogatory towards myself, I’d call it my “little stomach fart” that shouldn’t be there. Along with that, I made the corresponding onomatopoeia. But i am not writing this email to glorify my body negativity, that slowly but surely is dwindling (and began once I found your blog). Rather, I am here to be somewhat of a saint of sorts, much like yourself, attempting at saving someone else from being a victim of severe negativity.

It all began when I was seven years old. I had a brain tumor. From being in the hospital, unable to move around, for a few weeks I gained a bit of weight. And it kind of cascaded from there. seeing as though I was seven years old, being cured of cancer, you’d think it was okay for a child to have gained a little weight, right? Nope. Not in my father’s eyes. Once I was better, fully recovered about a year later, he directly put me back into multiple sports at a time. He put me on a diet, 1300 calories a day. Ridiculous for a small child, you’d think? I didn’t know better. I was eight years old. I knew I hated the fact that my dad ut me on a diet so young though. By nine years old, I developed epilepsy from the leftover scar tissue mulling around in my brain from my surgery at seven years old. Not your typical grand mal epilepsy, but rather something called focal seizures. They knew what it was caused by, and it was from a focused area in my brain. After my first one had occurred, a neurologist prescribed me a medication called Tegrotol. My dad looked it up once we had gone home from the doctors. And oh, fantastic, Tegrotol also increases appetite and decreases metabolism. So he then had me on an even stricter diet and exercise plan. From nine years old till about thirteen years old, I was eating 1200 calories a day and rigorously exercising every day…

Pausing for a short interruption: I do not blame my father any longer nor do I hold resentment towards him any longer for the things he did. He was worried about my health and best interest, and as I grew older, I realized that.

At fourteen, I developed bulimia. My father would say at dinner, every night, “Should you really be eating that?” Or, “Please think about that extra helping.” So one night, I got the brilliant idea that maybe, if I excreted the food that was in me, that wouldn’t be extra caloric intake that day. And then that day turned into every day, at every dinner. And eventually, every dinner turned into every meal. Soon thereafter, my teacher had caught me at school with a toothbrush in my hand walking to the bathroom. And no, not to brush my teeth. I was forced to see a counselor at school. But my father was never notified. At fifteen, my father got severely ill, he was rushed to the hospital on one specific occasion from internal bleeding of his esophagus. I was torn up from that. So now, my disorder was turned into a stress reliever instead of my own personal weight loss plan. Throughout my high school, I experienced horrible things one after the other. And they all seemed to flood into my life at the same time. My disorder would be faint at what I classified a “good point” in which I would over dose on my prescriptions to take pain away. But then, it would flood back into my life like the gates to the Red Sea had just been clashed by Moses. I was bulimic for five consecutive years. At times, it would fade. But it would always come back with a vengeance whenever anything went horribly wrong. This last summer, at nineteen years old, my now ex-long-term-boyfriend found out I was doing it again. And it was more severe than ever. At first he accused me of “playing games”, just as my father used to do. But then one of my closest friends really reached out to him, and he realized it was not a joke. He threatened to have me hospitalized if I did not cease and desist all purging. So I did. Since then, there was only one time I purged. Shortly thereafter the threat of hospitalization. But the fact that I was diseased had finally hit me. And I slowly worked on my issues myself. I had been through three years of therapy before that, and not once did it completely stop my disorder. I needed to take this on full force, on my own. And I did.

Shortly after that, I found your blog and Facebook page, George. I have grown so much since then. I also have taken up meditation, interpersonal relational growth experiences, and a spirituality incomparable to any “faith” I have ever experienced. All have shown me that my body is just that, MINE. I need to take care of it. I need to take responsibility for it. I need to make it healthy. And even more so, I deserve to be healthy. Mindfully and physically.

I hope my story helps at least one reader, Georgina. Then I would feel fulfilled beyond words. All my life presence is meant for to help others who don’t quite have the tools to help themselves, just yet. After all, your story helped me.

Much life, love, and prosperity of wholeness.

Sarah W

Life As A Busty Teen – A Guest Post

29 Apr

I’m 17 and I’m a bra-a-holic.

The trouble is, I also happen to require a 28J bra – this does not help when I want to buy pretty, age-appropriate bras! The choice seems to be white over-the-shoulder-boulder-holders resembling a load of scaffolding, or super-sexy please-let-me-sleep-with-you contraptions. I would give pretty much anything to be able to walk into Topshop like my friends and buy a bra. But I can’t. When I go out to Oxford Street, my friends spend hours in ‘normal’ high street shops buying armfuls of cheap clothing and bras that somehow they know will fit, even without trying them on. Yes, I’ve measured them. They are genuinely a 32A and a 30C. I am not. So, because they’re lovely people, they agree to get dragged to Bravissimo/Pepperberry with me, in the hope that I might find a nice bra or even a top that goes over my chest (shock horror!) Shopping trips are sometimes a bit of a nightmare, because nothing will go over my boobs. I’m a size 8 on the bottom, but often have to go up to up to a 14 or even a 16 to get a top to go anywhere near fitting over the top of my J-for-Jinormous chest.

I remember buying my first bra with my mum, aged 11, in M&S. It was a super-girly, non-wired pink frilly crop top, and it was a 30A. I felt seriously grown-up. At 12, I was in 32A bras, from cool, teen-appropriate shops like Topshop and New Look, and at 13 I was still wearing the same size, and I wished my boobs would hurry up and grow! At 14, I despaired because I’d lost weight and gone back down to a 30A, leading me to stuff my bra with enough chicken fillets to open a branch of McDonalds. But at 15, I had a sudden growth spurt and discovered I needed a 30F bra. This was the point when I realised that my clothes were not going to fit nicely over my chest, and so I spent a year or so living in men’s t-shirts, with the occasional Pepperberry top when I could afford it.

I’m now in sixth form college, so I can wear stretchy t-shirts or Pepperberry tops, but in secondary school, the compulsory uniform involved wearing a white button-up shirt. Busty ladies will know that regulation white school shirts from John Lewis are not friends with large chests. So, instead of the £3 regulation shirts, I went to Pepperberry and bought some for £30 each. This was all very well, until my male head of year asked me, “Why are you not wearing the regulation school shirts? That one is not part of our school uniform!” The response “Sorry Sir, my boobs are too big” got me a detention, and he got months of dirty looks from me and my Pepperberry-clad chest.

By 16, I was wearing a 28G bra. Yes, I’d lost weight and gained  a cup size. Bummer. Men would come up to me in the street and ask if me boobs were real, and occasionally reach over for a quick grab-and-run. I also got a bit of stick at school, because according to a group of stroppy, unruly teenagers, having big boobs made me a ‘slut’. The fact that I was a virgin and had never had a boyfriend was apparently not relevant.

At 17, I’ve moved to another school to escape the bullying, and am buying 28J bras. My current favourites are the Bravissimo ‘Bettie Mae’ and the Curvy Kate ‘Showgirl’ range – although the designs are slightly moving into the you’re-way-to-young-to-pull-this-off category. Despite all the challenges they bring, I actually quite like my boobs. Coupled with a larger-than-life bum and a fairly little waist, I have quite a nice hourglass figure (albeit one with a few extra minutes). The one thing I’m really grateful for is that I have the necessary boob-knowledge to put me in the right size bra – I think my chest is quite thankful for that as well! The reason I know about bra sizing is partly down to my Mum, who introduced me to Bravissimo at the age of 15, and partly down to blogs like Fuller Figure Fuller Bust, who teach great bra fitting and body confidence. I’ve come to realise that just because my size isn’t stocked in Victoria’s Secret, Topshop, or Primark, I’m not a freak. Or a slut. I am a 17 year old girl, and I just happen to have size 28J boobs.

Fitting Into The Highstreet – A Guest Post

26 Apr
If you have been wearing a bra for over 10 years, (and I have for 45) and you have, shall we say, boobs that give a natural cleavage, you are probably wearing the wrong size bra.
 
I have ALWAYS known about back sizes and the importance of them. Catalogues always explained about how to ‘measure’ for a bra, but  the cup sizes available were very limited.
‘C’ cup was often the largest for about 30 years of my bra wearing days.
It increased to ‘D’ or ‘E’ about 10 years ago. That meant to find a bra that had cups that would encase my boobs I had to go up a couple of back sizes.
About 8 years ago I went to our local small independent Lingerie shop to be fitted, yes fitted, by eye, no tape measure in sight, and came home with a 34F instead of my trusted 38D!  It was a bit of a shock and I had to get used to the support of a bra, a tightness that had not been there before.
 
We are, by nature, creatures of habit and comfort.  When we find a bra we like/fits/is comfortable we stick with it.  Plus, we are at a financial disadvantage too – we often have to pay more for our larger boobs and would need to part with at least £25 for a new bra – not something most of us can do very often.
 
Realistically – and be truthful ladies – we only need/wear between 4 and 6 bras. Generally speaking, when reaching for a bra to wear in the morning, we go straight to our trusted, smooth, comfortable non nipple showing bra.  We then maybe have one or two ‘pretty, lacey’ bras for evenings. And quite often if you don your Maidenform/Spanx you don’t even get to wear the pretty ones.
 
So what do we want and need?
 
I don’t want to walk into a department store and see hundreds of pretty, lacey, sheer, multicoloured types of bras going up to a ‘C’ cup.
I  would prefer less of that type of choice and, I would rather have a larger range of sizes, starting at 26/28/30” backs and in cup sizes over a G.  All I want is something that gives a smooth outline, not necessarily ‘moulded’, pretty colours – all the rainbow colours and beyond!   Just something that I can try on – and a choice.  It’s unlikely that you will be able to get the perfect fit after trying on just one bra, and so ideally you want to have a choice of ten or so.
Most of us, don’t want lace, sheer, bows and lots of seams that give a bumpy effect under our clothes. How many of you only ever put on your Deco bra?
I always put a jumper or tee shirt over each satisfactory bra to see what it looks like under clothes.  Yes it’s a faff but it is the only way to get a true effect, and to determine as to whether you really need another frilly bra.
 
Most of the time, we cannot buy successfully online. Someone else’s comments are only a guide as our boobs (even your own 2) are different, hang differently, with skin poking out in different places and wires that aren’t quite the right fit as someone else, even with the same bra size. Just think of the multiple visits to the post office, queuing to return the non-fitting bras!
 
We need local shops and department stores all around this country and every country that have a full range of sizes and some choice within those sizes. We don’t all have the luxury of living in or near London!
Go to your local store and tell them what you want and need, or write to the buyer.  If they want to run a business, and not lose all their custom to the internet,  they should start to listen.
 
And remember -  it is not our fault we were wearing the wrong size bra. We had no choice but the choice is slowly getting better and we should persuade our shops to take that into account.

My Body Acceptance Journey By Rachael Morgan

20 Apr

This guest post is one that moved me to tears. It was written by the beautiful Rachael, and I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I did.

The argument of what is considered to be beautiful is a daily topic for many women within this generation. Too skinny, too fat, too small, too tall, flat chested and massive knockers – there’s so much controversy of how we should or shouldn’t look. One minute you’re looking at slender catwalk models and the next being greeted by average sized women in the latest beauty promotion. Body confidence is important and I live by the rule that aside from the occasional use of slimming pants once in a while – accepting your body is the best thing you can do for your mental health and in most cases physical health. I spent almost nine years of my life depriving myself of my natural lumps and bumps and overcame a variety of difficulties regarding how I view my body whilst struggling with obvious defects.

I was always a chubby kid, for as long as I can remember other children seemed ten times smaller than me. I became overweight in primary school and by the age of eight I was already fitting in to size 12 clothing. It was always obvious, even when I was a natural chubby youngster that I’d be the one to have boobs first and develop a womanly body as I grew older, but as attention was drawn to my body from a young age for being a bit different – I thrived off eating more. In some ways I thought this was expected of me. ‘The fat kid’, so I may as well carry on eating my sweets, By the age of 9 I was bullied badly for my increasing weight gain and this is around the time my relationship with food became some sort of a disastrous love story.

I starved myself of anything good – vegetables, fruit and nutritious meals purposely and lived off anything processed – burgers, chocolates and crisps. When I reached 13 I was coming up to 18 stone on the scales. As I began secondary school other girls my age started talking about boyfriends and fashion whilst the highlight of my day was lunch time. It was like I was possessed by food. It was the one thing that cheered me up and made me feel happy – biting in to something tasty. I always imagined in my head that I was a lot slimmer and it wasn’t a big deal and made up for my lack ‘looks’ by being bubbly and the class clown. I’ve always had a big personality and during the time of my weight issues, I’ve always used this as my disguise.

Reaching my teens also meant of course, the dramatic growth of boobs. I already had A cups from the age of 9 but when I hit 13 they seemed to appear out of nowhere. As my breasts began to grow naturally along with puberty and my weight gaining, I was horrified by what became attached to my chest. I developed an F cup, however my right breast never grew and took a stand still at a B cup. I always thought like my mum and elder sister I’d inherit a wonderful set of naturally large knockers and was appalled at how my breasts look. The insecurity of being so overweight and developing asymmetrical breasts took a very dramatic turn on my mental health. I felt like a walking joke, as the bullying got worse I lost the disguise of being able to laugh off the awful comments and with my right cup of my bra padded out with 4 chicken fillets to even out the differences, I felt like everyone knew my little breast secret.

At the age of 13 I began throwing up after my meals in a desperate bid to lose weight. I thought by losing weight, maybe my breasts would even out and I’d lose weight, therefore I’d be happy and slim. I decided I’d throw up my dinner every night to shed a bit of the unwanted weight and would do it until I’d lost enough weight to be considered ‘normal’. As the days, weeks and months went on I noticed that throwing up my dinner was making me lose weight, but not that much to be a plausible or a noticeable weight loss – I was still being bullied for being overweight and my breasts hadn’t changed in the slightest. I knew I needed to increase my weight loss regime but I still had a passion for eating hefty quantities of food. By the time I was 15 I began throwing up after everything I ate, but would often go back for another meal to compensate. I was purging and replacing the calories with other fattening foods. At 15 I began to face the consequences of my eating disorder as my body didn’t have a clue what was going on. Was I starving or overeating – it was a very dangerous and unhealthy contrast and at 16 I developed pneumonia and began to gradually turn gaunt and yellow.
By my 17th birthday I had been hospitalised for contracting various liver and stomach infections due to bile erosion. After having pneumonia and being unable to physically eat, my body kicked in to starvation mode and when I was well enough to eat – I decided against it. I’d lost so much weight not eating anything so I began my bid to keep this cycle of starvation in place. During the whole year of 2007 and 2008 I only ever ate a slice of ham a day and vomited any other food I consumed. I became bones, my skin was yellow and dry, the bags under my eyes resembled bin bags, I was tired, I was constantly in and out of hospital, my family was at despair and I dedicated my entire life to exercising and making sure my body was as tiny as it could physically be. I regularly vomited blood, I was unable to have braces on my teeth as the acid would of rotted my teeth noticeably with the braces and I was physically unrecognisable. By this point I was so ill I was no longer at school and spent months at a time in my bedroom by myself researching on ‘thinspiration’ websites and gaining new ideas of how to keep the weight off. I endured many illnesses through my friendship with bulimia – I had bronchitis, constantly had throat infections, I suffered from bad digestion and indigestion problems, my nails fell off, my hair fell out, at one point my eyebrows even began to fall out. My fingers where often blue and scabbed over from making myself vomit. At 19, it had been around 3 years since I had done a ‘normal’ poo.

It affected every single element of my life – education, relationships, jobs, family and friends. I couldn’t go out for a meal without having to run off to the bathroom to throw up.

My breasts at this point had lost a lot of their content, so I was now left with asymmetrical sacks with nothing in them. The phrase ‘oranges in plastic bags’ could not of suited my chest more. I could never find a bra to fit, I could never wear certain tops or dresses and when it came to being intimate the fear of exposing my breasts and being laughed at made it impossible to feel comfortable around men. Sleepovers with friends in general was an issue as I’d always have to sleep with my bra on lined with my chicken fillets. The physical discomfort of wearing a bra constantly was awful and I often found the textures of the chicken fillets I wore made me develop rashes and eczema on my right breast. I felt like a complete alien or like I had breasts from a joke shop attached to me. I didn’t see the point in bettering my health as what would be the point – I’d still be ‘ugly’.

By the age of 21 I had reached my peak of unhappiness with the way my life was. I didn’t feel I had an eating disorder, I felt the eating disorder had me. My breasts grew saggier as I kept fighting to be skinny and I was diagnosed with anorexia in 2011. I was so disgusted by this diagnosis as I always thought that I wouldn’t let myself get that bad, after all I only started throwing up here and there when I was 13 to keep some pounds off. So how an earth was I ten stone lighter. I was diagnosed by doctors with bulimia when I was 16 but as that was such a long time ago, I thought despite clearly being bulimic, that diagnosis would of ‘ran out’ and I was actually normal. I completely forgot how to eat, I would prepare food and was thinking of throwing it back up as soon as I’d ate it. As my anorexia really kicked in, as soon as I’d ate a meal I would naturally start throwing up without even having to encourage it. It was embarrassing and degrading. I had no confidence and had encountered several failed relationships due to my mentality. Receiving compliments felt like I was still being bullied only now I was being patronised. As my last relationship ended during this time I realised how much my life affects other people and deprives me of the natural things that occur in life – I was now depriving myself of happiness, love and sex. The bulimia and the anorexia had began to eat away at my family, friends and partners. I’d get taken out for meals by my previous partner and leave him sat in the bar whilst I spent half an hour in the toilets pretending to ‘poo’. Looking back it could not of been more obvious what I was doing yet nobody quite knew how to help me any more. I’d seen every councillor, doctor and psychiatrist you could but I wasn’t ready then to let go of my life as I knew as soon as I admitted defeat I’d have to regain weight and the prospect of that petrified me.

At the age of 21 I decided I needed to do something with my breasts at some point to have a chance of feeling confident in life. I’m not saying surgery is the only option here for people with asymmetrical breasts, but my case was so severe and extreme that it was the only thing that could be done. I think surgeons need to be given gratitude for how much they can change someone’s life. Surgery is very serious and there’s a lot of stigma around it. I feared even getting surgery would instantly make me one of those ‘Hollywood plastics’ and I’d still be unaccepted by everyone. It wasn’t until I spoke to a surgeon and he assessed me that I learnt it was very common to have surgery and it is acceptable. I saw a private surgeon as I had previously tried via the NHS and was rejected due to my BMI. The surgeon I saw told me I’d need full re constructive surgery – loose skin removed, both breasts reshaped (my smaller breast was tubular shaped whilst my bigger one rounded), I’d get implants to even out the asymmetrical difference and my nipples replacing. Going to see a surgeon and learning that I could have this issues fixed was appealing – it was like the answers to my prayers, however, no surgeon will operate on someone with bulimia and anorexia. I was also rejected by the monthly instalments of the £5,600 surgery as I didn’t have a credit rating to prove I could pay such repayments. The double news of rejection and feeling like the last surge of hope I had left to be taken away really difficult to cope with. I starved and starved myself to the point waking up was a struggle because I was so undernourished. I began applying to jobs as an escort in a desperate bid to get the funds together for the surgery on my breasts, I started drinking heavily and took drugs to block out the realisation that I was trapped like this forever.

I think my parents really realised at this time how much my life had been overruled by my breasts, eating disorder and lack of confidence. I cried most days after I found out I couldn’t get the surgery and I didn’t care what I did I just wanted to get money together. I worked two jobs and went to university whilst coping with the side effects of an eating disorder and one day I cracked. I broke down completely and hit the lowest I’d been.

My parents are absolutely incredible people who deserve awards for the amount of times they’ve helped me in to an ambulance, sat and told me until they are literally blue in the face that I did not have to treat myself the way I did and generally just parented me and let me cry on and with them. My parents arranged, in secret that they would fund my breast reconstruction surgery. I had no idea about this, it was February the 23rd 2012 and that morning my mum sat me down and begged me to eat a piece of toast. I always remember this day because for some reason I noticed, to be frank how awful I looked through the lack of food in my system. We had a small chat about me not eating and usual I shrugged her off and went to my bedroom to continue exercising. That evening, my best friend (of 16 years, who has supported me through all of this) was round to stay, we were all sat in my living room and my dad randomly announced he had the cash saved up ready to get my operation. The absolute shock of finding out that another human could be so generous, thoughtful and offer me this hope was overwhelming. I don’t think I have ever cried so much from happiness. The guilt of my parents paying for my operation was hard to accept and took a HELL of a lot of reassurance from them – they told me I deserved it and I began to believe that maybe I did.

My operation got booked for the 23rd of June that year on the condition that a doctor can sign me off as being healthy. I had no choice but to beat anorexia now, there was a life changing operation and my parents had went out of their way to raise the money for me. I owed it to them and I owed it to myself. A few weeks after booking my operation I went food shopping and devised a healthy eating plan, I knew I had to prepare myself for my recovery and I had to do it myself. I sat and ate my first full meal in years – 10 pieces of pasta, 5 cubes of chicken and half a pepper and I actually enjoyed it. The feeling of food in my stomach was really hard to get to grips with and the urge to just start throwing up was tempting but I resisted it. Everyday I ate one small meal and over the weeks I increased to 3 meals a day. I still exercised lightly but this time it was enjoyable, it wasn’t a chore. I went on bike rides with friends and did sit ups whilst singing along to music, I began to get a taste of great food and how to have fun with general exercise. I began going out for lunch with big groups of friends, I had people round for dinner and cooked for them, I even went on a few dates and ate in front of them. The massive ‘click’ that happened in my head the day I booked that operation gave me a date to work towards, something to focus on. As my weight increased and I had to throw away my small clothes, a part of me was still heartbroken that my love affair with food had ended. It was honestly like an abusive marriage break up. To live with something day in, day out and get treated so badly from it and wake up one day and throw it aside was awful. I longed to have bulimia and anorexia back sometimes but it’d click again that I had to move on and do what’s right for myself.

By May 2012, I had put on 2 stone and a natural size 12-14. Every woman in my family is at least a size 12, it seems it’s in the genes to have bigger hips and wider thighs and whilst I still had bad days of looking in the mirror and disliking the bigger woman that was in front of me, my confidence soared. My hair started to grow and was soft, my skin looked so clear and even, my fingers had cleared up, I’d lost a lot of body hair (which grew during my anorexia) and I received a lot of attention for my curvy frame.

I had my operation in Manchester and my surgeon was always honest with me. He told me my asymmetric breasts were the worst case he’d ever seen and was baffled as to why the NHS hadn’t agreed to fund my op. He told me there was no guarantee they would be 100% perfect but he would do everything he possibly could to ‘fix’ them. The staff at the hospital were incredible and supportive and deserve recognition for how helpful, genuine and lovely they all were to me. I woke up with asymmetrical breasts on June the 23rd and woke up again after the operation and looked down to see two massive jumps the same size. I was a bit out of it but just seeing my boobs in bandages was one of the best moments of my life.

Boobsb4

Before surgery

 

Boobsb44

Before surgery

 

After surgery

After surgery

After surgery

After surgery

I recovered well from my operation, I continued to eat well which at times was a struggle as it was the first time I’d not been able to exercise as I was obviously restricted with my movement. My breasts looked fantastic – the surgeon had achieved more than what I or he had hoped for and my breasts looked completely perfect and natural. We had planned to aim to make my breasts a 34DD however when the measurements in came in after healing I was wearing a 32H or a 34G depending on which shop!

And that leads me to today. I’m still a size 12-14, I still eat healthy and I’m still in the process of replacing all of my old clothes to bigger ones that cater for my figure and of course, my breasts. I have never shared my story outside of my mum, dad, sister and three close friends. I decided to make it public as my struggles with weight, eating and my breasts has been a long journey. I have truly accepted myself and my body now. I feel by sharing my story I can celebrate all I have overcome and would like to think people who relate to similarities in this story can see that wonderful, positive things can happen. I deprived myself for so long of curves, health and happiness. My past has a lot of baggage but my future is so free from it now. I look forward to meeting a man who when he reminds me I’m beautiful, I can truly believe it. I’ll wear my dresses with pride knowing I can now appreciate what’s underneath the fabric. Every time I look in the mirror I vow to pick out the positives, because the hard work I did to get to this point, the support from family and friends and work of my surgeon needs celebrating and I am never wasting another second of my life worrying about calories, food and starving. I am just a very normal, average young woman but I hope now that people realise exterior is often very misleading and it was judgement that goes back almost 15 years that allowed me to think badly of myself. I think my eating disorder and surgery will come as a huge shock to those who know me but we need to be honest here, even such normal people as me struggle with such difficulties so I imagine it’s a lot more common than we think.

I am excited about my future and making the most out of my wardrobe, body, breasts and life through honour and honesty.

Rach3

Rach

Rach2

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A Guest Review Of The Panache Porcelain Body By Kate Nolan

30 Jan

I’ve always been a little curious about bra bodies, and so I enlisted the help of a friend to write a review of hers…

Hello lovely readers of FFFB!

A little while ago I purchased the Panache Porcelain body in 30G. George kindly gave me the amazing opportunity to review it for her.

Overall, sadly, I think it was distinctly average. The bra part of the contraption fit okay, but not perfectly and it only really held in my flab a tiny bit. 1

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I found that my torso seemed to be somewhat too long for it, for example, if I pulled the bra up to where I would be happy wearing it, then I got a major wedgie and everything seemed stretched. Besides that it didn’t stay there and I was constantly pulling it up. If I left the bra where it sat naturally, there was folding in the bottom of the cups under my boobs. My boobs weren’t at all supported. This problem was rectified by using the straps included with it, but the reason I bought it was to use it for a strapless dress. 6

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Also, weirdly, I seemed to have a weird back fat situation where the back band of the bra pushed my back fat down but the body pushed my back fat up resulting in a back-fat-flap. Most uncool.

The material used was really silky and super comfortable, but not as firm as I was hoping for; I wanted something to hold me in but I found it just altered my shape slightly. I don’t often wear shapewear so I’m not an expert and maybe I had far too high expectations, but I found it did very little for making my flab less flabby. I constantly tell my ribcage off for needing protective fat because I hate the bulge underneath my bra. I hoped that because this was a bra combined with something intended to disguise reality, that maybe I wouldn’t get an under-bra-band-bulge. I was not to be.

And also, maybe I’m nit-picking, but the cup kept denting in the middle. It was even noticeable under my dress.

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On a more positive note, the band was firm and cup true to size. However, sadly the cons outweighed the pros and my quest for the perfect bra body continues!

 

Thanks for reading!  Please let me know if you are a fan of bra bodies and which ones you have tried.

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The Bra Adventures Of A Petite Pear – A Guest Post By Heather Mason

16 Jan

I haven’t hosted a guest post in a while, but after a few comments and requests from some of my readers I am very happy to share this offering with you. It’s a testimony from my beautiful friend of 14 years. She has quite a different problem when it comes to bras and she’ll take you through her journey in this post:

I am pear shaped. I am not short enough to be classed as petite. I have curves. I don’t have big boobs but I do have a good bum. These are all thing that I tell myself on a daily basis.

I’m 5’5, my measurements are 31”, 25”, 33”. In reality I am not an extreme pear shape, but when I measure round my bum and the tops of my thighs my measurement there is 40”. I have struggled for years to come to terms with this and at 17 was told by my mum that I had child bearing hips – not something that has come into use yet – as a result I have tried numerous diets, exercises and have even tried some awful slendertone ‘fat burning’ shorts, not something I would recommend.

I would say that it’s only been in that past few years that I have really learnt to dress for my shape and this has helped me to become so much more comfortable with being a Pear.

A year ago I finally got down to a weight that I had been trying to achieve for a long time and with the weight I lost I also lost several cup sizes, or so I thought. I decided to get myself fitted properly and went to House of Fraser, I have to say the lady that fitted me was absolutely amazing. She asked me what size I was and at the time I had estimated myself to be a 34 A to which she tutted and wondered off muttering about how tiny my underbust was, and came back with several 30 C’s and a 32C. Looking down at my chest I was surprised she had picked a C but as I’m not a bra fitter or expert in those matters, I didn’t object and instead tried it on. I was immediately amazed at how much better it felt, the back was so much more supportive and my boobs actually looked bigger! After buying all three matching sets she had picked I strutted off home a happy customer. Below is one of the sets that I bought, to this day I still love it.

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Since then I have always stuck to shopping in HoF for my underwear. I have ventured a few times into La Senza, Topshop and New Look, but as the high street brands don’t tend to go down to a 30 my trips have been unsuccessful. This is changed just before Christmas when H&M brought out a new campaign for their ‘super push up’ bra’s and I have to admit I was completely sucked in.

2 3I tried the two above sets on, as pictured above and they did not disappoint. I tried them both on in a 32C in desperate hope that the band wouldn’t be too loose, and knowing that the cups may be a tad small. Just my luck, the band with three hooks and eyes was the perfect fit and had great lift, even without the straps.

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The bottoms are high-waisted which help give you the whole pin up girl, retro feel, plus it means no risk of the elastic band digging in at the hips.

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The pink and black lace set is my favourite of the two, with detachable bra and suspender straps it means you can wear it lots of different ways, I’ve been wearing it mainly without the straps as I’ve found it has replaced my strapless Wonderbra. I am so impressed with the lift of this bra and how comfortable it is. The bottoms are super comfortable as well, but as you can see from the pictures they don’t come as high on the model.

 

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The other set, which I bought in black, had the same great lift, strong band and three hooks and eyes. The only problem with this set is that the straps are thicker than the usual bra straps, but with the cute diamante detail I’m easily won round.

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After having such a success with H&M I would definitely recommend trying them out if you should also be blessed with a perfect handful. I also have to admit that my outlook on high street brands has is starting to change, and rather than immediately assuming they won’t cater to me I’ll definitely go in and try the item on. Being petite with a smaller chest can throw up as many problems as being larger with a voluptuous chest, and it’s not the easy shopping experience that many envision. A great fit is important, no matter what your size, and I’m so glad I have found sets to cater to mine.

You can follow Heather on Twitter here and on Instagram here.

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A Guest Review Of The Panache Sports Bra

4 Sep

At Panache’s recent press event I was measured as being a 36HH/J. As their highly aclaimed sports bra stops at an H cup it meant that the best size for me was my sister size – 38H. Sadly it was just too big in the band and I although I adore it for low impact sports I didn’t feel that I could give an honest review of it.

Luckily I have a friend who frequents the gym and was willing to give the bra a go. She is a 32FF/G/34F/G and so I advised that she try a 32FF as the cups are a tad generous and the band is true to size, unlike a lot of sports bras. Here is her account of it…

“As a rule I don’t like moulded bras as the moulded shape and natural shape are not always the same so there are spaces where the breast does not fill the mould.
This seems to be less of a problem in ‘normal’ life- just moving around naturally. I expected more of a problem in a sports bra, used mainly for Zumba, so a reasonable amount of bouncing would occur. Having used a non moulded 34F Shock Absorber for years I was expecting some rubbing from this Panache sport bra, moulded and wired, size 32FF. There were some spaces in the cups but they did not cause any discomfort as I bounced through my Zumba class. I felt very secure, in fact I was not aware of my bra. There is a little more flesh overhang under the arms but I can live with that.
It was a bit too tight to wear in the racing back style and not yet been washed so I can not advise on how it will deal with that.
All in all, I am pleased with the bra’s performance during my rather vigorous work out. I also really rather like the grey and lilac colour.”

If that doesn’t convince you to snap one up here then why not check out Cheryl’s review here.

Laura’s review here.

And Kelly’s review here.

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Top Secret: 7 Ways To Find The Perfect Shapewear For You By Cindy Prosser

23 Aug

If you’re like many women, you either don’t wear shapewear at all, or you just can’t seem to find the right fit, no matter how hard you try. Luckily, we have the inside scoop that we’re excited to share with you.

We’ve learned from our mistakes and have compiled a list of the top tips you’ll need when shopping for shapewear. Let’s dive right in:

Tip #1: Get professionally measured.
One of the best (and first) things you should do to guarantee a good shapewear experience is to get measured by a pro. Most specialty lingerie stores and department stores have a person on staff who is trained to measure women for the correct bra size and other undergarments. Have them measure you so you can help guarantee a good fit right off the bat.

Tip #2: Make a day of it.
Whether you’re looking for shapewear for a special occasion or just need it for everyday wear, it’s an important task and shouldn’t be something that you just pick out in a few minutes. Grab a girlfriend and spend an afternoon getting sized and choosing garments that are right for you.

Tip #3: Know what you’re looking for.
If you’re in search of the perfect shapewear it’s likely you need it for a special occasion or a certain outfit. Think about this before you head out shopping and determine which color you’re looking for. The most common you’ll find are white, black, and nude, although some manufacturers are branching out to make even bolder colors.

Tip #4: Know what type of control you need.
In addition to color, you should also keep in mind how much control you need. Are you buying shapewear to go with a form fitting dress or do you want something to mask lines on everyday outfits? Your choices are usually light, medium, and firm so depending on the level of coverage you want, this will also be a decision to make.

Tip #5: Narrow down your options.
Which part of your body do you want to shape? Do you need something to slim your stomach, your thighs, or another area of your body? There are countless options out there, so have an idea in mind before you go shopping or you might get overwhelmed.

Tip #6: Know the lingo.
There are a lot of terms out there when it comes to shapewear but what do all of them mean? Here are some of the top terms you’ll need to know:

  • Girdle – Perhaps an old-fashioned term, a girdle is used to support your hips, waist and bottom.
  • Brief shorts – Brief shorts are a “spin-off” of boy shorts and are used to mask lines in the hips and bottom. They’re made in several different cuts – very short to mid-thigh.
  • Plunge – Plunge is used when referring to the bra section of your shapewear. How low do you want it to plunge? This is especially helpful if you’re wearing a low-cut shirt or dress.
  • Seamless – Most shapewear nowadays is completely seamless, meaning it was designed to mask any thong, panty, or bra lines so they’re completely smooth.


Tip #7: Try many different brands.
The sizing and style will vary quite a bit by brand so make sure you try several to really know what’s the best fit for you. When you’re trying them on, take note of how each feels and make sure that it’s something you can wear on an everyday basis.

Before you head out on your next shopping excursion, keep these tips in mind and you’ll be rocking that shapewear in no time.

About the Author:
Cindy Prosser’s perfect morning starts with a hot cup of coffee, cool temperatures, and her favorite shapewear + skirt combo. While being a full-time mom and part-time freelance writer for BareNecessities.com poses several challenges to a perfect morning, Cindy doesn’t ever neglect her vow to exceptional fashion.

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My Breast Reduction Journey By Laura

13 Jul
This next guest blog post comes from an amazing young woman called Laura.  She writes the blog ‘Bravolution’ and has a Facebook group here.  She had a breast reduction some years ago and here is her story about the major decision she made:
　

When I was 20, almost 21, I made a big decision to have a breast reduction. It was not a decision I made lightly, or quickly, but my body loathing just got to the point where I had to do something about it. But first, let me go back for you.
 
I won’t say my story started when I read the book Sweet Memories by LaVyrle Spencer, because it had really started years ago. What is funny is when I was growing up, I was so oblivious to my size. I knew I was skinny, but I’d never really thought about anything else when it came to my size. Looking back at photos of myself now, though, I can see that I was what I would consider a “normal” breast size up through my sophomore year of high school. Somewhere between then and my senior year of high school, they just grew.
 
Reading that book, though, opened my eyes to the possibility that I could change myself. It was about a young woman who decided to get a reduction herself.
I can’t even tell you what size I was when I got my reduction. Knowing what I know now about bras and sizing, I can tell you that I was so skinny that there would not have been any bra size in existence that would have comfortably fit me. The best fitting bra was this ugly granny bra that I got from Nordstroms in a 32E. Bra shopping was a horrible, humiliating experience, that I never really cared to have again. I spent HOURS trying on bras that didn’t fit me. I was a freak, and left with ill fitting bras and a tear stained face. My confidence and self worth was devastated. I probably should have been wearing a 26HH or something, instead of that 32E. There really is no way to tell now, though, but I know about four years post reduction (with a bit of weight gain), I’d measured my ribcage at a 26. So it’s quite possible that at the time, I would have been a 26 band size- or smaller- which they don’t really make now (although some brands are beginning to cater to sub-28 bands)- and most certainly didn’t make back then.
 
Up until college, I wasn’t really aware that I even had much of a chest. I shudder now, looking at photos and how unsupportive my bras were. And I wonder, “How could I NOT have noticed?” But then, I started college, and I guess I started seeing myself through other people’s eyes- or perhaps I started paying more attention to how I was perceived by other people. I slowly became more aware of male attention being specifically focused on my chest.
　
I began to really become aware and uncomfortable with my body. I started wearing hooded sweatshirts, the large breasted girl’s favorite hiding place. I wouldn’t go anywhere without a hoodie on, at least in the winter. The summers were harder, because it was so hot, I couldn’t hide my freakish body. In college, there was a guy who was a ‘friend’ of mine who started having ENTIRE conversations with my chest (see above comment on that). I began to avoid him. It just made me SO uncomfortable. I’m not even sure he realized he was doing it. At the end of school, he’d asked me on a date, but I said no. There is no way I’d be able to be alone with him and with that.
 
**Note to men reading this, while most of us women pretend to NOT notice you staring at our boobs, we do. And most of us don’t like it. It’s extremely rude, and makes you look like a total ass. Please stop having conversations with our breasts. That is not what they are there for. If we wanted to be ogled, we’d walk around topless.**
　
After my freshman year of college, I got really sick. I won’t go into details, but I had really bad headaches and if I wasn’t laying flat on my back, I would experience such intense pain that I would vomit. I am about 5’6, and at the time of getting sick I was probably 115lbs. After a week in the hospital, I was down to 93lbs. As awful as being that sick was, it had a benefit. My boobs were smaller! But, I knew I needed to gain weight, and as I slowly recovered, so did my weight AND my boobs.

Pre-reduction

 
I’d only told my cousin and her boyfriend (who was my friend) how I was feeling. I really was hating myself and had such anxiety about speaking to people. And then I read that book, Sweet Memories, and realized that I could maybe change. I was obsessed about it. What size would I want to be, if I could choose any size. I’d decided I’d want to be a B cup (again, now that I KNOW how bras fit, I would have wanted to be a 26DD). And wonders of wonders, junior year of college, a girl (we will call her Carol) moved in across the hall from me who actually had a reduction the previous year. I peppered her with questions. Carol explained to me why she had gotten it done and told me what they had done to her. She looked great, by the way, and we bonded over the issue and became fast friends.
 
She came with me to see my primary care about getting a reduction. I was under my parents’ insurance and would need the surgery to be approved by insurance in order to have it done. I got the name of the only plastic surgeon on the insurance plan and made an appt. Then I did the really hard thing- I had to tell my parents.
My parents and I have always had a great relationship. They have always been supportive of me, and I really didn’t expect anything different from them. Boy, was I wrong! That first sit down with them was rough. I don’t even recall all the conversation that we’d had. Carol had come with me, to answer any questions about the procedure itself that my parents might have. She explained to them that in her case, she had been overweight and her doctor told her to lose weight first- and I didn’t have any weight to lose.
 
This part is hard for me to write about, because of how hurt I was about the reaction my parents had. I know that they think I am perfect just the way I am, but some of the things they had said really hurt me. My mom said, “What if you are dating a guy who prefers bigger breasts?” All my life, she had raised me to be independent and not need a guy for self worth, so this comment was rather jaw-dropping. She also said that I would be scarred for life, and she didn’t want me to have ugly scarring. My dad had made a comment about how large my mom had gotten when she was pregnant. I told them that since I wasn’t comfortable with myself, I certainly wasn’t comfortable with a guy, so pregnancy wouldn’t be a possibility- EVER. In the end, I tearfully told them, that although it was their insurance, I was over 18 and it was my decision to make. And I had made it, and would go through with it- with or without their support.
 
My mom insisted on coming with me to my appointment with the plastic surgeon. She also insisted on being in the room while he examined me. I was an adult, and I was mad at her. I didn’t want her in the room. But I let her, and I’m glad I did. While I was standing there, being poked and prodded by the doctor while my mom watched, I just tried in my mind to be anywhere but there. After the appointment, my mom told me that she didn’t realize how droopy I was without a bra. Yup. It was confirmed- I not only had a granny bra, but I had granny boobs!
 
Weeks went by, while I waited for the insurance company to either approve or deny my surgery. My hopes and dreams rested in the hands of an HMO…. But then, I got the call. THEY’D APPROVED! Surgery was scheduled for right after school was out. I couldn’t wait! When the day came, I was giddy and excited. Here was the start of my new life. The surgeon’s assistant came in to prep me (wow, was he cute. how embarrassing!! he was going to be assisting?! no, no….). I went in, went to sleep, and woke up a new me. I went home elated- my boobs FINALLY fit the rest of me- inside and out. Then, I passed out.
 
I thought I’d fallen asleep briefly. But then, it happened again. And mere hours after leaving the hospital, I was on my way back. The ER nurse didn’t take us seriously…. that is, until I passed out in front of her. I woke up on a table in the ER. I was there for five hours until they had a room for me. I had an internal bleed from the surgery. I was to be taken back to surgery the next day. I was not to eat (all day?! ugh), or even stand up. It was a long day. At some point (before or after surgery?), I had a blood transfusion. My poor parents were terrified. But the repair surgery went well, and I was back home in no time.

A week or two after my reduction

 
I had a newfound confidence. It was fabulous! I finally felt normal. But it wasn’t to last. Shortly after my surgery, I’d started on birth control to regulate my periods. They put me on “the patch,” which sent way too much hormone directly into my blood stream. Within a few months of surgery, my boobs had come back… My doctor insisted it wasn’t from the birth control, but there were other side effects that I didn’t like, so I stopped taking it after six months. My boobs shrunk again, but not back to the size they had been. Regardless, they WERE still smaller than they had been- and more perky. I had no other choice but to live with it. I still had more confidence, and when I went back to school in the fall, people noticed that something was different, but they couldn’t figure out what it was.

One month after my reduction

One month after my reduction

 

Six months after my reduction

My journey with my boobs and with bras didn’t stop there. With a desk job, and trying other BC pills, I started gaining weight, and with that, my boobs grew and grew. I found www.llswim.com for awesome Freya swimsuits- even though my ribcage at this point was a 26, they fit me into a 30G. It was more comfortable than the 32 F I was in. And then, while desperately searching for tops that might fit me (yes, I was starting to spiral down the self hate spiral again), I stumbled upon Bravissimo. And my life was forever changed. On their Facebook page, I “met” fabulous women, like Georgina, who helped educate me on how bras should fit. I realized that I needed to go down again in the band to a 28 (which is the current size of my ribcage). I now wear 28H/HH, and although I sometimes get annoyed with the size that they are and wish they were smaller, I generally am okay with them.
 

I live in the states, and here it is really hard to find stores that carry bands under 32. Almost no stores here carry 28. I discovered that most stores don’t think there is a demand for smaller bands (mostly because everyone adds inches to the ribcage to get the band). So, last year, I began a women’s only Facebook group called BRAvolution. http://www.facebook.com/#!/groups/BRAvolution/ It is my mission, and passion, to refit any woman willing to try it. The BRAvolution is also about education. Surprisingly, most women I speak to really have no clue how their bra is supposed to fit. It is painful for me to hear a woman say that her bra is uncomfortable. Because I know it doesn’t have to be. And I know how to fix it.

Two years after my reduction

A recent photo

The states, often times, lacks the sizes needed, though. One day soon, I’d like to open my own lingerie shop to carry a wider range of sizes than is currently available!! I’ll be sure to let Georgina know when I do so she can help me spread the word!

My wedding day

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