Why I Don’t Hate “Skinny” Women

8 Aug

There seems to be some sort of unwritten rule on social media sites that in order to accept yourself as a larger woman you have to put smaller women down.

“Real women have curves.”

“Only a dog likes bones.”

“I want to look like a WOMAN, not a BOY.”

I see this all too often. Slim women pitted against larger women in images. Smaller women modelling items and being accused of not meeting the demands of those who want to wear them. Petite women being labelled as ‘curvy’ and being met with torrents of abuse from larger women - “If SHE’S curvy then I’m a sphere! She looks like she’ll break!”

I am so sick of those comments.

I have seen some women insinuate that slimmer women deserve the hate they often have poured upon them. One lady told me that she had had enough of being attacked by the mainstream and media and it was time to fight back – and that seemed to mean slagging of smaller women and heaping verbal venom upon them. She mentioned how she had been bullied by slimmer girls because of her size, and therefore wanted to turn the tables and give them a taste of their own medicine. I was baffled.

Did she think that pulling one (no doubt innocent) slender lady apart was payback for her own personal hell? That inflicting body snark upon another would end her suffering? Did she not stop to think that it would make someone else’s begin? And at what point had she come to the conclusion that slim women were so physically unattractive that they needed to be taunted with cruel words and phrases?

These ideas that slim women are not curvy, not real, going to snap, have eating disorders, are not attractive to men – they are disgusting stereotypes that seem to be muttered by every other plus size woman who uses social media to express herself. I understand that some people might not like to see images of slim women for whatever reason, but why tear them down like their feelings don’t matter and they are worthless? It is just as bad as calling all bigger women fat, lazy, diabetic unattractive pigs. It won’t undo any name calling, it will just drive an even bigger wedge in between women. You can pretend that you are concerned for that person’s health til you’re blue in the face – but the fact is that you are pandering to stupid stereotypes that don’t resemble the truth in 99% of cases, and that is plain malicious.

I mean, we all have our preferences and opinions. We wouldn’t be human without those conscious and unconscious desires and thoughts. So why present those opinions as potentially hurtful facts, often designed to make yourself look better?

“How can a woman that size be curvy – I’M curvy.”
I see comments like this so often. And every time the abuse of the word ‘curvy’ boils my blood! Firstly curvy is a shape, any women with any dress size CAN be curvy, just as larger women can be more straight shaped. That is a fact that we can see walking among us every day! And secondly, why do people see images on the internet, process a negative thought and then post that reaction as a hate filled comment on the image for everyone to see? It literally makes no sense!

I, for example, cannot stand Louis Vuitton handbags. All those L’s and V’s make me cross eyed and to my mind the items scream ‘Look at me, I am designer!’ So when I see said bag in an image that is not asking for my constructive criticism, I keep my thoughts to myself as no one wants to hear them and that is not why the image is there. If I were being invited to let my thoughts be heard I may politely say that I don’t really like Louis Vuitton bags but I like the shoes the model is wearing – I like to balance the bad with the good! I see no point in tearing something down just because it is not to my own personal, unique and possibly solitary taste.

I wish more people, particularly women, would realise that being intolerably rude about someone they don’t know or know anything about is bullying, and that is the only truly ugly thing to be found in situations where abusive derogatory terms are spewed out from behind a keyboard. It makes them look bad, jealous, rude, spiteful. Grotesque emotions that blacken the heart and twist the soul. And guess what? There’s more to life than looks and whether or not someone ate all the cheeseburgers or needs to eat a cheeseburger.

I will never hate skinny women.
Do you know why? Because I am not at war with anyone but myself, and I don’t need validation in the form of abusing others over the internet with my words of hatred and my cruel assumptions.

I do not want to give what I hate to receive – an opinion of a single snapshot that does not impact my life and will not make me a better person.

Let’s end the body snark war, together, once and for all. Let’s end it by realising that every woman has the potential to be perfect in the eyes of someone else.
My follow up video post.

239 Responses to “Why I Don’t Hate “Skinny” Women”

  1. Sweets August 8, 2012 at 12.53 #

    Thank you for this. There’s this almost universal knee-jerk comment I see on the internet from both men and women: “she needs to eat a sandwich” or “get that girl a cheeseburger.” For some reason the commenter feels that’s all that needs to be said. These comments are so dismissive and judgmental and so wrong. Women can be healthy at so many different sizes, and the more we blurt out “put down the cheesecake” or “eat a sandwich”, the more we confuse the issue and complicate our feelings about our figures. I absolutely do not tolerate any judgment of anyone’s body on my site. I think it’s fair to say “this event/comment/interaction complicated my feelings about my body today,” but there’s no call for bashing anyone just because her figure differs from mine, or for bashing myself. The more we cut out language like this, the more we allow ourselves to see the beauty in diversity. Great post, Georgina!

    • RAI August 8, 2012 at 12.53 #

      YES. AMEN

      • Tima December 23, 2012 at 12.53 #

        “The thinness supremacists, who put thinness above all other shapes and sizes, and force women every where to get skinny at any cost to their health, to be considered worthy of love and respect, destroy lives and cause pain and suffering to women world wide.
        This harmful oppression and thinness dictatorship that considers any one who is not a size 0 as “fat, bad,ugly and worthless”, is the source of all the hatred, loathing and animosity women have against their own bodies and against other women every where.” Fatima Parker

    • michael brown August 15, 2012 at 12.53 #

      Don’t put up with it…Speak up and Think of their handicap…issues,….or just make them up…and have them ready to fire when needed…im working on a stand up comedy routine…so u have to rebut fast…Dont take shit from anyone,…BBW women are beautiful and should be treated that way…as a thin women …Get your respect and tell the assholes to fuck off you have it all .,..and they can’t get it …nah nah

    • Holly August 31, 2012 at 12.53 #

      Thank you for this post! I love that over the last few years women with all body types have been gaining confidence and are proud of their shapes, but it was really hard when that meant that my very slim body type was suddenly under attack and was no longer something I should be proud of. I have a metabolism that runs too fast, and keeping weight on can be a struggle. I was bullied a lot for it when I was younger, and am only beginning to become confident with myself. Thank you for your post about how we shouldn’t judge people’s body types, and if we do, we should keep it to ourselves.

  2. Kjersti G. August 8, 2012 at 12.53 #

    very well written! i totally agree. i dont see a lot of it in my life, but i do understand that you do. its important that you speak up. and preach acceptance and anti-bullying, rather than the opposite. even grown people can have the most childish responds to certain things, this is one of them.

  3. Emma August 8, 2012 at 12.53 #

    When I was little, my best friend was a skinny girl. We once confessed to eachother that we wished we had the other’s body type. We were 5. Considering how ingrained it has become at such an early age, I decided some years ago that I just didn’t care any more. I know I’m pretty, and some people think I’m hot, and some don’t. No matter what size I have ever been at, it has always been that case. So, I’m going to enjoy my cheesecake, wear my bikini, and drink chai with the sunshine on my face. I’m just lucky enough to have someone to share these experiences with, and if he’s worth it, he’ll stick around.

  4. JRose August 8, 2012 at 12.53 #

    I was trying to explain this standpoint (which is officially called Body Positivity) to a fellow Fat Acceptance artist, and got attacked by a pack of women who just couldn’t understand that they could have self-confidence without having to drain it out of someone else. They also took great exception to my use of the word fat, which I have been using so long as an adjective stripped of its negative connotations (it is neither an insult, any more than “thin” is a complement, it is just what people with stored adipose tissue can use to describe themselves) that I forget that people still take offense at the idea of someone noticing that they take up more space (which is what I mean when I say it).
    And supporting body positivity is a fight I will continue to fight, every time I see someone putting down any body, because everyone deserves to be happy and safe in their own body, no matter what it looks like or what it can do for them.

  5. Lady August 8, 2012 at 12.53 #

    Sounds like a variation of the “white man’s burden” argument to me. Skinny women have skinny woman privilege. Hate is the price they pay.

    • fullerfigurefullerbust August 8, 2012 at 12.53 #

      So you think they deserve hatred?

      • Lucie August 8, 2012 at 12.53 #

        As a ‘skinny’ women I think we do deserve a bit of stick because we do have privilege. Or to put it another way I don’t take these comments personally because I do understand where they’re coming from. I think it’s great that you’re comfortable enough in yourself not to feel the need, and I’m not a fan of the term ‘real women’ but I totally get why the comments are out there.

      • Saline August 8, 2012 at 12.53 #

        Perhaps not hatred, but certainly not sympathy. I can only roll my eyes and walk away from whiny skinny people, because it’s basically “woe is me, my beauty is a curse” attitude.

        Being called skinny does not carry the same negative connotation as being called fat.

        Skinny women are still considered more attractive, and being more attractive gets you farther in life with less effort, by a long shot.

        I would know; I’ve been up and down in weight my entire life and I was able to tell the stark difference of how I was treated when I was at a healthy size 8 (I’m tall / broad so size 8 was pretty ideal for me) vs when I was at my heaviest (size 16).

      • Saline August 8, 2012 at 12.53 #

        Perhaps not hatred, but certainly not sympathy. I can only roll my eyes and walk away from whiny skinny people, because it\’s basically \”woe is me, my beauty is a curse\” attitude.

        Being called skinny does not carry the same negative connotation as being called fat.

        Skinny women are still considered more attractive, and being more attractive gets you farther in life with less effort, by a long shot.

        I would know; I\’ve been up and down in weight my entire life and I was able to tell the stark difference of how I was treated when I was at a healthy size 8 (I\’m tall / broad so size 8 was pretty ideal for me) vs when I was at my heaviest (size 16).

      • ADaniel August 8, 2012 at 12.53 #

        I don’t think you have ever read the “White Man’s Burden” because it has nothing to do with everyone bringing each other up instead of tearing one another down.

    • Sarah G August 8, 2012 at 12.53 #

      They deserve hate because they were born skinny? So by that reasoning, someone born bigger deserves hate because they were born bigger? That makes absolutely no sense. “White Man’s Burden” says that it’s up to the white man to civilize all other cultures, it doesn’t say “Leave the other cultures the fuck alone cus they’re fine the way they are.” People should be judged by who they are as a person, not because they’re black, white, skinny, fat, or anything else in between.

    • Daphnie Haye August 8, 2012 at 12.53 #

      Wow, “Lady”, what an immature, ignorant thing to say. You’re as bad as your own words. Take your attitude and your ugly mouth elsewhere, please.

    • Hikari August 8, 2012 at 12.53 #

      No one has to pay a price of hate just for being born. If you decide whether you hate someone just by looking at their face or their body, you’re just as bad as those you hate yourself.

    • Pez August 8, 2012 at 12.53 #

      You are INSANE. Get help for your issues instead of freaking out over other people’s bodies.

    • Lady_HellFire August 8, 2012 at 12.53 #

      I am a very skinny Model! And i am this skinny due to being an athlete and falling ill due to it which lead to a muscle disorder and heart problems, but i am HEALTHY AND HAPPY!! Which is more then i can say about a large amount of woman who give me the “She needs food” comment on my images, rage is channeled by jealousy, yes i am skinny but i LITERALLY worked my butt off for it and paid a sad price too which put me out for months and almost cost me my life but i recovered and am still skinny and happy just not an Olympic gold medalist, but i can deal with that, can you really be happy by being this rude/disrespectful and angry? I highly doubt it :)

    • Issa Bella photography August 8, 2012 at 12.53 #

      As the title of this blog clearly states, not all women hate on other women. I personally have no desire to spend that much time “hating” someone because they’re smaller or larger than I am. I love my body, my self, my everything, that is all that matters. Hate is not a price anyone should ever have to pay, hate has killed people.

    • Rachel August 8, 2012 at 12.53 #

      I am a skinny woman and I have been trying to gain weight my entire life because people assume I don’t eat or I have an eating disorder. When really, I have the appetite of a grown man! So you’re saying that just because I’m skinny that it is a privilege and I should be hated for that? I will pray for your ugliness.

    • Joshua Billingsley-Cooke August 8, 2012 at 12.53 #

      The “White Man’s Burden” was historically the responsibility of “Civilized Europeans” to rule over women and the primitive savages and was used to justify the eradication of peoples across the world and the enslavement of groups of other peoples.

      Repackage it any way you want that is a disgusting phrase and any who don’t know your usage will see it as incredibly racist and sexist.

      • Lauren August 9, 2012 at 12.53 #

        Thank you.

      • Shawna Haines August 9, 2012 at 12.53 #

        i agree it was a poor choice of words that that lady chose, what i understood her to have meant was that a skinny person complaining about being too skinny is like a white person saying that they aren’t treated fairly in society…poor comparison and ignorant but i don’t think any true malice or hatred was behind it. To the writer of this blog. I see both sides in the argument and I see all sides of it. You never really know someones story and name calling etc is only bringing out your own insecurities. But even though I believe that, I have failed in my inner thoughts sometimes.

    • El Duce August 8, 2012 at 12.53 #

      You are angry at yourself and project it onto others. That is the only reason you would “hate” someone who isn’t like you. Your comment sickens me. You sicken me. Go wallow in your misery and hatred more, you should get so far with that.

    • joethetroll August 8, 2012 at 12.53 #

      That’s not ladylike.

    • Ashley August 8, 2012 at 12.53 #

      The difference being that male privilege is the result of thousands of years of male-dominated society where women were systemically oppressed and where men held all significant forms of power. “Skinny privilege” is in no way comparable to male privilege.

      Also, does this mean you also condone the hating of men? Acknowledging that someone has privilege doesn’t mean they deserve to be hated for it.

    • Jennifer August 8, 2012 at 12.53 #

      And what is that privilege exactly? I’m naturally petite (my grandmother was 5 foot nothing and 90 pounds) I don’t get to park my car any closer to the door, I don’t get out of paying my bills, I don’t get to go to the front of the line, no one gives me free stuff. I still work 40 plus hours a week, do my own grocery shopping (yes, I eat), mow my own lawn, walk my own dog. etc etc. And even though a lot of it is genetic, I still also work very hard to be healthy, I don’t eat sugar, I don’t eat processed foods, I run a 5k 5 days a week. I am disciplined and I do what needs to be done to get where I need to be. No one is helping me, no one is making it easier for me because I am skinny. if you are going to hate me, hate me for a legit reason. I’m sure there are plenty.

      • OrganicMommy August 9, 2012 at 12.53 #

        Exactly. I don’t know if there is a “skinny woman privilege”

        But there is definitely a “hot woman” privilege! Meaning, pretty face and a thin to “thin with curves” body type with BIG BOOBS! lol

        Well, I don’t have big boobs- I guess they are average- but I definitely see the difference in the way I am treated when I go out in sweats, no makeup and hair in a bun vs dressing up and wearing makeup! I’m talking free stuff! Now THAT’S unfair!

        I am thin, but I only see the difference in treatment when I am looking “hot” vs looking plain. But I guess it’s all relative, because a bigger woman probably does notice that thinner women, regardless of how attractive they are, get treated better simply because they are thinner.

        I would also like to add that, recently I changed my diet to all organic, no processed foods etc so that I could be healthy. It had nothing to with weight as I never had a weight problem. But when you eat organic, and avoid chemicals in food, your weight will drop. Now, for the first time in my life, people are calling me skinny. I even once had someone ask me if I was sick, saying they liked me better with curves! Never mind that I am super healthy, and have more have energy, don’t have horrible stomach pain anymore (from food allergies)… bring back the curves!! HAHA. People are ridiculous. You really have to get in the habit of loving yourself and striving to be the best YOU can be. And ignore the haters.

        In any case, women need to learn to reject the media, for one, and they also need to stop comparing themselves to women they see in their daily lives. Everyone is beautiful to me. The only thing you should worry about is whether or not you are healthy.

        Great post Georgina!

    • theawkwardbaker August 8, 2012 at 12.53 #

      I’m petite, but I have had so many hateful comments thrown my way because I have “no boobs.” I have less than A cups, and even when I once gained 15 lbs and wasn’t so skinny anymore, my boobs did not grow. I have had people say that I look like I have the figure of a 12 year old boy and tell me that the only guys that must be interested in me are “closet gays” and pedophiles. So I have a boyfriend? He must be a closet gay and/or pedophile if he’s attracted to my body. Right. I have never once flung any hateful comments the way of anyone about their body, but apparently I deserve to be told I am completely unattractive.

      • Monica August 9, 2012 at 12.53 #

        well i’m sorry that people have said those things to you. i’m so tired of people being ignorant…………

      • Tess January 23, 2013 at 12.53 #

        Wait….what?There’s a big boob privilege? Really? I have 38DDDD and I still have to pay for everything on my own, work, go to school, take care of my family. Please, tell me where can I cash in?

      • theawkwardbaker January 24, 2013 at 12.53 #

        Did I say that there was a big boob privilege? I don’t remember and I’m too tired to find my comment. :/ Honestly, I just hate my body, and am super sick of people telling me I have a thin privilege and hating me because of it. I get taunted because of my body A LOT, and am so depressed about it that I have to go to therapy. Yes, I go to therapy because I have no boobs and cannot fit into a bra at age 23. So please, just allow me to be upset about my body and my supposed “privilege”, because goodness knows that everyone tells me how unattractive I am enough.

      • Tess February 26, 2013 at 12.53 #

        No, Not you, someone else. My post landed in the wrong place.

    • theawkwardbaker August 8, 2012 at 12.53 #

      I’m a petite woman, but for years I have had people make hateful comments about my breasts (or lack thereof). I have less than A cups, and most people seem to find it okay to make nasty and negative comments about how I have “no boobs.” I’ve heard everything, from “you have the figure of a 12 year old boy” to people (men and women) telling me that the only guys that are attracted to my figure must be either “closet gays” or pedophiles. It’s incredibly hurtful. I have never flung a mean comment at anyone regarding their body type, and yet apparently I deserve all the hate that I’ve gotten (and continue to get).

      • Kimberly August 9, 2012 at 12.53 #

        The only thing someone deserves to be judged upon is how they treat others. Beautiful bodies come in different shapes and sizes, ditto for boobs and anything else.

    • Catherine August 8, 2012 at 12.53 #

      I really do agree with the skinny privilege argument in many ways, but I find it much different from “white man’s burden.” Anorexia is the MOST deadly eating disorder that exists; up to a fifth of the women and men who suffer from it will *die* from it. I hardly consider these women “privileged.” And every time they are lauded, even criticized for their body shape, it further drives home the point that they aren’t perfect, and that they have to pursue some impossible and incredibly deadly ideal. This isn’t the equivalent of a white man’s burden; it’s the equivalent of giving a person with depression a gun.

      Furthermore, hatred towards thin women harms everyone because it just perpetuates the notion that a woman’s worth is gauged by her looks. Notice how you said “skinny women privilege” – this is solely a phenomenon that plagues the female gender, and I think buying into this hatred just encourages sexism.

    • UM August 8, 2012 at 12.53 #

      Sure, hating skinny women makes a *lot* more sense than jumping on the treadmill…

      • SERIOUSLY?! August 8, 2012 at 12.53 #

        I do a dance class once a week, hike, don’t overeat, and I will ALWAYS be a size 12. There IS a genetic component to size, and I will always have to work not to become 300 pounds like many people in my family. Our metabolism sucks. Skinny and healthy don’t necessarily go hand-in-hand. Nice job exhibiting exactly the dismissive snarkiness being discussed. There are many slimmer women that I can dance circles around

      • Um yourself August 9, 2012 at 12.53 #

        You’re not part of the solution. You are part of the problem.

    • Anon August 8, 2012 at 12.53 #

      No, it is not a variation of the white man’s burden. Thin women have privilege in some cases, but they still suffer from many of the same problems that women of other sizes suffer from. They are still unfairly discriminated against and judged solely by their appearance on a daily basis. They deal with just as much sexism. They deal with other problems, too. By hating other women for no valid reason, you are playing right into “the man’s” hands, by the way. You are doing exactly what the mainstream media wants you to do. You’re focusing on your left side when the demon is on your right.

      If you can’t see that, you are either disturbingly naive or you are deluding yourself.

      Here is some life advice for you and you can take it or leave it. Tearing down other people will never raise your own status. Never. The inflation you feel when you say rude things is all in your head and it will disappear.

      Having a hateful attitude is the price you will continue to pay for not opening your eyes to what is really happening to the people around you and to yourself. Your punishment will be constant waves of insecurity and self-loathing, with no long-term solution, until you change your ways.

    • Sydney Latimer August 9, 2012 at 12.53 #

      People can change from body shape to body shape throughout their lives. We cannot change our skin colors. I’ve been fat and skinny–and no matter what, I don’t look at my body shape being any type of privilege, because on either end, I have been judged. If not for my skin color, it’s because of my body shape (fat or lean), who I choose to date, etc. Just because whites have privilege in society does not mean I have the right to commit a hate crime, call someone a racial epithet, or drag a white man behind the bumper of my truck. People should not be hated just because they were born. You’re implying by birthright–skinny/thin women should be hated. What about the women who go to the gym and work out, who used to be fat? Or the Olympian. Should they too be hated because of their “privileged state” in society. Funny how someone has to “pay” for something they never asked for in the first place.

    • kenzy August 9, 2012 at 12.53 #

      Wow, that was an awful thing to say. I’ve been on both sides of the spectrum, and I’ve gotten more hateful comments when I was thin, than I did when I was heavier.

      Nobody deserves the hate, and I really don’t think there is as much of a “skinny privilege” as you think there is. Even if there was, it doesn’t give you the right to hate people just for the fact that they’re thin.

    • Laura August 9, 2012 at 12.53 #

      Do you not get it? Even if slim women are in anyway privileged, how does that justify bad treatment towards them? It is incredibly narrow minded to consider someone’s life as being easy because of their appearance. And in any case, things not being easy for yourself can’t justify shitting on someone else for their circumstances. It doesn’t make your lot any better, so why pull another person down? It isn’t a competition as to who has shit harder. Appreciate the good things you have going on instead. And remember there’s always someone worse off than you, instead of being so self involved

    • cms August 9, 2012 at 12.53 #

      You should be ashamed of yourself.

    • kyotoredbird August 10, 2012 at 12.53 #

      I have to say, as a short and skinny woman, I have never felt “privileged” because of how I look. Often, I feel the opposite. People tend not to take me seriously because I am so small, and I get directed to the children’s department for my bras and bathing suits. I do not deserve to be hated because of how I am built. I didn’t ask to be this way; and for you to think so makes you seem like a wretched person.

    • Katie August 12, 2012 at 12.53 #

      Being “skinny” is NOT a privilege. Try eating all you can and still getting sick all the time because you’re not big enough to be healthy. Or how about fainting on a regular basis. Worrying like crazy that the bout of the flu you have will make you slip below 100 pounds again and it will be that much harder to recover.

      Additionally recent studies have shown that individuals who are underweight or in the lower range of “average” sized have a higher rate of early death than those who are overweight to the lower end of obese. A HIGHER RATE OF EARLY DEATH. The thin do not have fat that is valuable in protecting organs and speeding recovery. They’re only just starting to understand a lot of the reasons for these trends, but some doctors are taking a step back and reevaluating the idea that thin is healthy.

      And that’s all just physical health. I understand that the body image issues are entirely different for the “skinny” women (oh how much I hate that term), and we do not have it as bad. Society-at-large judges thin women more positively. But because there’s this idea that “thin” is “good” and “lucky” and “privileged,” there is a lot of open scorn directed at thin or skinny women. By the time I was 16 I’d had so many awful things said to me because I was underweight that I had a “reverse” eating disorder. I forced myself to eat to excess every day, to the point of stomachaches and (unintentional) vomiting. And the genetics just wouldn’t let the scale budge a millimeter. Doctors accused me of having anorexia and accused my mother of enabling me when she objected. (Her favorite line was, “You want to pay this child’s grocery bills?” She typically gave me enough lunch money for three lunches in high school because I was so hungry.) And I never felt “hot” because I was thin. Mostly I felt like there was something wrong with me that needed to be fixed.

      Years later I’m much more comfortable with my size (it helps that I’ve gained a lot in my late 20s and early 30s, thankfully NOT following in my mother’s footsteps), but when I see the kinds of comments mentioned in this post I feel irate and then I want to cry. And this blog post made me tear up a little.

      No one deserves hate.

      • ar June 15, 2013 at 12.53 #

        Those studies have some serious flaws. One is that they had random samples so they included people who were underweight due to serious and in some cases terminal illnesses. Cancer patients don’t die early because of their weight and the studies did not take them out or note cause of death.

    • Teen Health Nut August 13, 2012 at 12.53 #

      I’m “skinny” now, but that’s because I EARNED it. I know how it feels to be fat, and I know how it feels to be skinny. I’ve gotten hate for both versions of myself, but I believe that NO ONE deserves to be hated.

    • Kayla October 26, 2012 at 12.53 #

      I didn’t deserve to be called anorexic or bulimic, pushed, talked down to by larger women(that post slutty pictures of themselves at angles, to make them appear “slimmer”), when they were the ones not eating or throwing up. The only thing that seriously makes me laugh, besides eating as much as a man does, is I model and still never watch my weight. And I never will, it’s fun to eat as much as I want in front of them, while they get all rude about it. It just makes them look more pathetic that they need to be rude, just to feel better about themselves. It took me a while before I snapped out of depression and actually saw what I could do with all the interests I had in fashion and art. But once I did, I jumped at anything I found interesting and stopped caring about how I looked, to an overweight person.

      • fullerfigurefullerbust October 27, 2012 at 12.53 #

        I’m not sure if your comments were aimed at me or just general comments. I understand your frustrations but maybe you could express yourself without generalising and being offensive x

      • Kayla October 27, 2012 at 12.53 #

        No it wasn’t at you, the comment was meant for “Lady”. This has been my experience and most thin people feel this way. I only hang out with people that aren’t hung up on their weight– of all sizes, so I don’t feel like what I said was offensive, just the truth. =

      • arielifeoma October 27, 2012 at 12.53 #

        …I don’t know what “most” you are referring to but I think it would be a mistake to take your own personal experiences and feelings and generalize that everyone who looks like you or even experienced similar issues must have come to the same conclusions as yourself. I sure didn’t and I know plenty of thin people that don’t as well. You may not have INTENDED to be offensive with your assumptions and generalizations about overweight people but the road to hell is paved with good intentions.

      • Kayla October 29, 2012 at 12.53 #

        On Facebook and in real life wherever I go when I travel, thin people say ya it’s annoying, but we will never be truly vocal to others that aren’t born like us. There are thousands that feel that way, how we always have to rethink what we say to a plus sized women or man, but how everyone gets away with the “anorexic” and “eat a cheeseburger” comments. Everyone in public for the most part has to always find something positive to say for a plus sized person, it’s annoying that no can say what they want to say anymore, only if your obese, than suddenly people forget to be nice. And this is what skinny people have been feeling recently, but even more so these couple of months. Just because 7/10 don’t have enough confidence in their own skin, so they belittle someone smaller, to get that short lived confidence.

      • Kayla October 29, 2012 at 12.53 #

        And I do have friends and family that are overweight, so I don’t get where I “generalized” it. They have confidence in their looks and intelligence, they don’t pity party themselves, because they actually have confidence in themselves.

    • Jennifer Jennarafficorn Paradis January 23, 2013 at 12.53 #

      Pretty sure you mean ‘first world problems’ or ‘white wine’ here, not ‘white man’s burden’.

    • Bree February 9, 2013 at 12.53 #

      It’s thoughts like yours that keep women from feeling good about themselves, please take your disgusting ignorance somewhere else.

    • Martine March 13, 2014 at 12.53 #

      And guess what you call people who hate others because they are white? Same thing you call people who hate others for being black. Racist. Think about that for a while before you decide to hate anyone for being different then you, or whatever you consider right.

  6. Eileen Dolidh Young August 8, 2012 at 12.53 #

    There’s too much hatred in the world. And too many people are happy to jump on any bandwagon just to feel accepted. We’re all human… whatever size you are.

    • Kathryn Kaupa (@Kathroooon) August 8, 2012 at 12.53 #

      As a woman, we fight so much in our lives, why do we have to ‘fight’ each other?

      As usual, a wonderfully thought provoking post x

  7. Velvet August 8, 2012 at 12.53 #

    Don’t be at war with yourself either silly! Its all about LOVE! Smooch, V

  8. Gemma Cartwright (@GemmaCartwright) August 8, 2012 at 12.53 #

    I have absolutely nothing to say to this except ‘amen’.

  9. Sarah G August 8, 2012 at 12.53 #

    I think this article is completely brilliant. I’m so sick of people hating on their own bodies, and anyone else’s. I have alot of friends who want to be a size 3 and cannot physically get there- their bodies will not let them be small, and on the opposite side of the coin? Lots of friends who WISH they could gain 15 pounds and can’t. As long as you’re healthy, and happy, seriously, that’s what fucking matters, so stop dissing anyone else, you’re just spreading more hate. It’s not your fault how you were born- if your body wants to be bigger, not your fault, if it wants to be smaller, Not Your Fault.

    Though I clicked the link to skinny gossip and I’m reading it now and I want to cry. Someone commented, “those photos make me love my hunger pains so much right now. I HATE FAT PRIDE.” . I. What. No. NO. I don’t have enough words of tears and anger and horror right now. Women saying their goal weight is to be 110 when they’re 5 7- I’M 110 and I’m 5 2 and I’m fricken TINY, 5 7 and 110 is really really skinny. Not necessarily unhealthy- I do know people that small- but also not something you should AIM to be D:

    *Rant rant rant*

  10. A skinny girl August 8, 2012 at 12.53 #

    This is how I’ve felt for so long. I am a very small and sick girl who recently has not been able to keep a consistent weight. And every day someone feels the need to make a comment about it. They’ll say things like, “Do you even eat?” “You need to eat more” or “How unattractive/gross!” I have never once in my life made a rude comment to/ about a woman about her weight, rather I envy them for their beautiful full bodies. I look at myself every night and all I can see are my imperfections and an unwanted bag of bones. I want to feel beautiful and empowered. But with women like that who constantly tear me down, it’s damn near impossible. Countless times I just wanted it all to end, that way I wouldn’t be sick any more. I wouldn’t get bullied anymore. It would just stop. But I have hope that one day I’ll be healthy enough to pack on a few pounds. But until then, yes, I am skinny…But please don’t feel the need to torture me or anyone else because of it.

  11. lisa August 8, 2012 at 12.53 #

    I think some of the backlash against skinny women came from the notion (and sometimes reality) that very thin models use things to make themselves that way. For me, the thing I object to is that somebody uses drugs or denies themselves a close to ordinary existence (as in bulimia) to meet some idea of what beauty is. These days it is thin, but in the past it was heavier.

    But I agree 100% that we should not be putting each other down, no matter what our size or shape.

    And I DO know loads of very thin women who neither exercise nor diet nor do any odd drugs to be that way… they just are.

    I thnik it’s OK to say “real women have curves”, as long as the message doesn’t go so far as saying “if you don’t have curves, you’re not a real woman”. Because real women are straight, thin, legless, hairy, heavy, and on and on and on.

    • jensen August 8, 2012 at 12.53 #

      As a skinny woman, even the ‘real woman have curves’ crap is really offensive. Sure it doesn’t outright say that skinny woman are not real woman, but imagine if I were to say something like, ‘Only skinny girls can be beautiful women.’

      I would never say that though. I much prefer ‘Real woman have bodies.’ BAM.

      • Sweets August 8, 2012 at 12.53 #

        I LOVE your “Real women have bodies” and am stealing it and using it all the time.

      • Sarah August 9, 2012 at 12.53 #

        How about “Real women are more than just bodies”?

      • lisa August 12, 2012 at 12.53 #

        I like that!

        I think that many people feel that society tells us through all of the media that only skinny girls are beautiful.

        More than that, though, is that media tells us, no matter who or what or how we are, that we are not enough. That we need their product or service to BE REAL.

        hogwash, and thankfully more people are coming to realize that.

        Real woman have bodies!

      • OrganicMommy August 12, 2012 at 12.53 #

        I like that! I also like “Real women are more than their bodies!”

      • Angie Jackson August 13, 2012 at 12.53 #

        As a disabled woman, I really like “real women are more than their bodies.”

  12. Hikari August 8, 2012 at 12.53 #

    I love stumbling across opinions like this. Ever since I reached a stable size, I’ve had to struggle to maintain anything resembling a healthy body weight. I’ve pushed my way into the thought that as long as it comes from a friend of mine, I shouldn’t be offended at being told to “go eat a sandwich.” I laugh at the constant comments about how small I am. It’s just easier that way. It’s just easier than asking them if they’ve ever struggled with their weight, and if they would like for me to comment on how well they’re doing with it. I don’t have an eating disorder, just an overactive metabolism, and if I don’t eat enough of exactly the right things and happen that day to feel like doing some exercising, I lose weight.

    No one thinks twice about making comments like that–regardless of whether they’re jealous, intending to be hurtful, or spiteful–to women who are smaller. There’s an assumption that just because you fit the social media body type of being attractive that you don’t have problems with how you look. That it’s somehow not offensive to be compared to other thin women they know. It’s such an ingrained idea that I’ve simply put a positive spin on every comment I receive about it, rather than argue with the world until my face turns blue. If the other person is being spiteful, then she’ll take my reaction however she wants to, whether it’s being hurt or laughing. If she’s not, she doesn’t deserve a hateful rant about how it makes me feel.

  13. susannahperez August 8, 2012 at 12.53 #

    Amazing post. One of my good friends who I worked in a shop with for years is one of these girls who can eat anything she likes and not put a pound on anywhere but her boobs (she’s a natural 28I), and some of the comments made about her by customers in very-audible-whispers were appalling!! Things like “She’s so skinny, those have GOT to be fake, URGH, I bet she doesn’t eat.”

    Why does it matter?? Women come in every shape and size, and generally judgement passed in this obnoxious manner – both in person and over the internet – is usually due to simple bitchiness and unhappiness in the person’s own body. Who cares if women are skinny or heavier, with big or small boobs – hatred like this shouldn’t be inflicted full stop.

    • Pez August 8, 2012 at 12.53 #

      All those bitchy comments are simply answers to that insecure woman asking herself why she doesn’t look the same way. People like that hold their own desperate need for validation as more important than having basic respect for others. It’s sickeningly selfish.

  14. Eve August 8, 2012 at 12.53 #

    When I was at school I got comments like ‘you’re so skinny like a rat’ and ‘you look like a boy’, boyfriends have squeezed my hip bones and said ‘god that’s disgusting’ and when I gained weight my current boyfriend said my increasing breast size made him ‘happy’. I can’t even tell you how it’s affected my confidence. I spend hours pouring over photos of Kim Kardashian and Kelly Brooke feeling terribly inadequate. And yet my measurements are 35-24-35, deffinately hour glass. But because I’m thinner than most I feel totally unfeminine.
    I recently went to bravissimo for a fitting and the fitter told me ‘we only cater to women with massive boobs’. (My usual bra size is 28FF ) I felt like I was being judged simply because I don’t have a giant rack.
    Trust me there is no such thing as skinny woman privelige.

  15. storybookapothecary August 8, 2012 at 12.53 #

    I couldn’t agree more. I had this exact issue with my boyfriend’s cousin who is a bigger girl. She dislikes one of my best friends simply because she’s naturally thin. In her words, ” I hate being around her because I look at her, compare myself, and judge myself.” And it’s like, why? Why do we feel the need? We all have different body types, shapes, genes, etc. To compare yourself to someone else is to devalue yourself; I feel like it’s such a self-destructive pattern. The other thing, too, is that rather than trying to find what it is within ourselves that we don’t like and change ourselves, we turn to others to get our frustrations out as though they should change because we don’t like ourselves.

    • Pez August 8, 2012 at 12.53 #

      At least she recognizes that it’s because of her own personal insecurity. Most people don’t and just project all those issues on to others. I hope she is working on it because it sounds like she is basically a good person with a couple of roadblocks in the way to contentment.

      • storybookapothecary August 8, 2012 at 12.53 #

        The odd thing is she recognizes it and she’s in denial all at the same time. I don’t know that she’s working on it, but I hope so. It gets in the way of her life a lot.

  16. sandra_nz August 8, 2012 at 12.53 #

    Thank you so much for this wonderful post, I couldn’t agree with you more!

  17. Lindah August 8, 2012 at 12.53 #

    I lost 95 lbs almost 30 years ago and have kept it off. I have heard comments on both ends of the spectrum. It’s life. I’m happy with myself and have no reason to make fat jokes or ridicule obese people. The key is to love yourself and be happy with yourself.

  18. hungrywife August 8, 2012 at 12.53 #

    What a brilliant post! Thin women get bullied about their weight, just as much as bigger women, and maybe more because it’s not socially acceptable to call a big woman fat, but no one seems to have a problem commenting on small women’s frames. Women should support women to be healthy. Health is not a shape, a size or a number. Each woman’s health is individual. Can not express enough how much I love this post.

  19. ........ August 8, 2012 at 12.53 #

    I love this, Thank you!!
    I am a skinny ass model and very often get the comment “She needs food” on my images,
    what the people who make them don’t realize is that i was a Runner, fell ill and got diagnosed with a muscle disorder which caused me to have a hear condition so yes i am extremely skinny but Healthy and Happy and that’s all that counts, Can’t exactly be a runner with an eating disorder, would probably die within my first few meters of a race!
    I often get the slander and i just respond with “I am healthy and happy” Which is absolutely true!

  20. Carly-Anne Fairlie August 8, 2012 at 12.53 #

    As a small woman I absolutely love this article. I am pretty tiny and skinny and a little bit curvy and have always gotten negative comments from people that are bigger then me. I’ve been told to eat, gain weight, I’m going to break, can’t fill out clothing and the list goes on and on. I love being small and I would never go up to someone bigger then me and tell them they should stop eating. We should certainly unite as women and stand up for each other, not tear someone down because they are different. Sharing this article with everyone!

  21. Nicole August 8, 2012 at 12.53 #

    Cannot agree more! It drives me crazy when people compare and compare and compare. Why must we look the same? Why is there a standard for beauty? It’s nuts.
    I’m the oldest of four girls and we all are shaped differently and are all different sizes, yet those girls are all gorgeous. And that’s not just my bias. I am considerably larger than they are, but I do not feel like I’m less attractive than they are. In fact, at times I get more attention then they do. Everyone likes something different and that’s what makes life exciting.

  22. Connie August 8, 2012 at 12.53 #

    Thank you! I’m sure we all have concerns more important in the big picture of life than to be wasting time criticizing, putting down and just being plain rude to others just because we’re different. Beautiful women come in all shapes and sizes, I just hope that we can all exist in the same vicinity, support each other and help one another conquer one’s insecurities about her body and concerns about her position in the grand scheme of life (you know, we are worried if we’re a good daughter, a good friend, wife/girlfriend, mother, etc). I also hope women can own up and embrace whatever we have rather than going under the knife to make a part of their body more desirable and attractive based on society’s views. Thank you for posting positive thoughts about women. We need more women on this planet like you.

  23. Natasha August 8, 2012 at 12.53 #

    Very well said! People that do this whether its someone with a fuller figure bringing down slender women or vice versa are not comfortable enough in there own skin so bring people down so they can feel better!

    I am a plus size women who is very comfortable and some people, big and small, can’t stand this…. I even get plus size women tryin to tell me what I am wearing makes me look fat…. that may be the case but its me wearing it I feel great in it what’s it to you?

  24. Meg A Tron August 8, 2012 at 12.53 #

    It hurts my heart to read that skinny pride website.. how narrow minded and filled with hate. I feel sad for her.

  25. andbabymakesgreen August 8, 2012 at 12.53 #

    Thank you for this post! I went on a rant about this the other day. I happen to be a pretty small woman and I am sick of seeing “attack” ads everywhere. I would never tell another woman that she wasn’t a “real woman” just because she was larger – so why is it okay to do that to smaller women? I’m sick of the implications that smaller women have eating disorders. Sure, some of them do. Women (and men) of all sizes and shapes have eating disorders – that’s not something that can always be ascertained just by looking at someone. Can’t we just agree that people come in all shapes and that different people find those different shapes attractive?

  26. Penny August 8, 2012 at 12.53 #

    One thing that people who beat down on skinny or thin women need to remember is that we’re just as insecure as they are! We are held to ridiculous standards just like any larger woman, and just because we’re not being criticized for our weight doesn’t mean that we’re not being criticized for something else.
    And we are being criticized for our weight! I am a whopping size 6 and can’t find clothes outside the petite section and some people consider me too fat. People are constantly criticizing us for what we eat and what we do. If I eat an oreo, I’m going to get fat. if I work out, why am I doing that it’s not like I NEED to lose weight. If we’re busty, those have to be fake, they’re going to sag when you get old, hate your boobs. If we’re flat, then we fail as women. Our bodies are held under a microscope too.
    Yes, I am lucky to be thin, even if I have to really try for it. But that doesn’t change the fact that society still has standards for me so unrealistic that I spend just as much time worrying about my face, my clothes, my weight, and all my imperfections as any other girl out there. I still worry about how my boobs will inevitably sag and the fact that I can’t fit into most clothes either because I too have curves, and the fashion industry forgot, just like the women you speak of, that curvy girls come in all sizes.
    It’s just not easy to be a woman, period. Let’s not let ourselves get divided over who has it worse.

  27. Pez August 8, 2012 at 12.53 #

    Add me to the pile of thank-yous. This post is refreshingly logical, objective, and just plain spot-on. I hope it gets a lot of reads.

  28. Ciera Damali T. August 8, 2012 at 12.53 #

    Love this! So many great valid points made!

  29. Lizzy August 8, 2012 at 12.53 #

    I’ve been 300 pounds and now I am under 150 and I have seen both sides of this and it disgusted me both times. Real women are women. Period. There should be nothing that comes after that period, no buts, no qualifiers. The war we put ourselves in and fight with each other is worse then any politician can do to us. No one wants to be judged on the size of our clothes, it doesn’t matter if you are a size 2 or 22, we are so much more then that with so much more to offer. Once we stop fighting with each other maybe we will be able to discover more of our own self-worth within ourselves.

  30. misslillybee August 8, 2012 at 12.53 #

    Awesome article! Reverse discrimination or bullying makes you just as ignorant as the people your crticizing. Women need to stop the self loathing and embrace eachothers differences.

  31. Dyna Spiteri (@Dyna25) August 8, 2012 at 12.53 #

    WELL DONE! such a great post. I’m what you might consider a “skinny” girl.. and I have received so many comments with people telling me I look gross, I need to eat and all that crap. I lost my appetite a while back, which is why I lost so much weight. I was never considered curvy or anything, but I became underweight when I lost my appetite. People assume so much in life. I have friends that are drop dead gorgeous, and they re not “skinny” .. I understand that society tends to present “skinny” girls as more attractive. But that’s just society. “Skinny” people have feelings too, just like “curvy” women. I don’t look down on curvy women and I don’t think anyone should. Everyone is beautiful. No one should bash anyone.

  32. Victoria August 8, 2012 at 12.53 #

    Thank you for this :)

  33. Elizabeth August 8, 2012 at 12.53 #

    thank you for this! as a small-boned, petite, with curves I appreciate the honesty and candor.

  34. Rachel August 8, 2012 at 12.53 #

    This is an amazing post! Well done!

  35. naddiispud August 8, 2012 at 12.53 #

    That link to skinny gossip, I’ve been on there for about 20 minutes and I can’t believe some of the stuff they are saying. By the looks of things even a UK 8 is fat to them and god forbid your thighs touch, how dare we be human! I’ve never seen a larger woman really ‘hate’ skinny people but the people on this site and their behavior to anyone whose bones aren’t sticking out is disgusting!

  36. Claire August 8, 2012 at 12.53 #

    Thank you so much for writing this! I’m a very thin person, and I’ve had to deal with all of the things you mention. Body shaming in any form is unacceptable, and oftentimes people don’t even realize what they’re saying is judgmental of naturally thin women.

  37. dreamsescapeme August 8, 2012 at 12.53 #

    Reblogged this on Phoenix Book Worm and commented:
    This. Read it. NAOW!

  38. Melanie Kelly August 8, 2012 at 12.53 #

    perfectly expresses my sentiments.

  39. Lulu Shwartzer August 8, 2012 at 12.53 #

    I believe in part that it is the male dominated media trying to turn women against each other. Thank you for this. Beautifully said!

  40. siobhan August 8, 2012 at 12.53 #

    Thank you! I was born skinny, and even lost a pound when I was born.
    Throughout my entire life I was jeered at for being my size. I even had some friends who felt insecure for being a larger and would make put me down for it though i never mentioned their size to them.
    All my life I’ve had perfect strangers call out comments about my size, my boobs, tell me to eat a burger, call me a twig look, that I’d snap in half.
    But if I dared say the same to them about their size I wouldn’t hear the end of it I’m sure.
    I wish more people thought like this, thank you.

  41. Randa August 8, 2012 at 12.53 #

    LOVE! This. Great post and well said.

  42. Jess August 8, 2012 at 12.53 #

    I love this post! I’m so tired of seeing hatred and negativity thrown all over body images without a thought that there is a human soul inside each and every body, regardless of the size! My best friend is a skinny girl, and I am a more muscular build, and together, we each face both compliments and criticisms for our bodies. It doesn’t matter. We both eat clean and workout, and we KNOW we are at healthy weights. No magazine article or modeling agency or spiteful person could ever convince us otherwise!

  43. carolyn August 8, 2012 at 12.53 #

    Very well said. Im so tired of the war of beauty. Beauty is as beauty doea and is held in the soul.

  44. Bridget August 8, 2012 at 12.53 #

    I just want to thank you for this. I am a thin woman. I was picked on as a child and teenager, even had a boy tell a friend he wouldn’t date me cause he would break me. I still at 35 have issues with people making nasty comments about my weight. I am lucky to have a very good group of friends that tell me all the time that there is nothing wrong with my weight and to ignore the comments. But I thought that I would not be dealing with this kind of negativity at my age. It’s very hard for anyone of any age or size to deal with so I am very greatful for your article. Thank You!!!

  45. Gabby August 8, 2012 at 12.53 #

    I’m so glad you decided to post this! I have struggled through an eating disorder when I was younger, to gaining 45 lbs, to losing 30 and coming back to my ideal weight. I have spanned the spectrum of hatred from all people, but the worst is from women. While I struggled with anorexia, hateful women would tell me things like “eat a cheeseburger” which only made things incredibly worse. They had no idea I was suffering through the same thing that most of them were – they hated their bodys, and I did too, I just expressed it by giving up on eating completely. When I gained the weight, skinny women were hateful towards me for not adding up to their ideal body image. And now that I’m at a healthy weight, I am being healthy for the first time in my life, I CONSTANTLY get comments about how I need to eat more, mocking me about my size. This is especially difficult for me because I am very short, 5’0″, and look very young despite being in my 20s. Do people think I really want to look like 12 year old? No, but sometimes I do, and insinuating that I need to eat more isn’t helping at all.

  46. Jo Maerz August 8, 2012 at 12.53 #

    I was so happy to see this show up in my news feed.
    I am a “skinny” girl myself; I’m not anorexic thin, I don’t even have a tight tummy, but I was once harassed by a woman at a conference. I was the smallest woman there (I’m only 5’2″ and this woman was closer to 6″ so I already felt threatened when she was giving me the stink eye). This was the first time I had ever met this woman in my life, and she apparently decided that in 1 second of seeing me she hated me. She called me “skinny bitch” and said things like “look at you, I could snap you like a twig!” It made me feel very uncomfortable and unwelcome. I’ve never been mean to anyone based on their weight, some of my best friends are “heavier” girls, and even a woman I dated was what I liked to call “extra curvy”. So I couldn’t understand why I would be the target of this woman’s rage, I’m not the person that made her feel such hatred.
    Even when my coworker teases me out of jest because I eat Lean Cuisines, I feel a little attacked. Stuff like “Girl, you need to eat cheeseburger, not that mouse food”. I know she’s just trying to be funny, but it makes me feel guilty for liking healthy food and not having a big appetite. It makes me feel ashamed even though there’s nothing to be ashamed of.

    Bravo on this article!

  47. Amanda August 8, 2012 at 12.53 #

    I don’t hate anyone I to know the feeling of being picked on an bullied …. I have always been a bigger girl (mostly butt and hips) in school an was forever being called fat an was a size nine ….. As I have gotten older so had my body my hips went from size nine to fourteen in one yr while in school …..I have always been shameful of my size because of all the ridicule growing ….I am now 26 an after two c sections and two beautiful kids i’m a size 18……. As I said I don’t hate anyone but I do get offend when I hear a size 0 ,1,2,3,4,5,6,etc say they are fat… I mean if they really feel that way I would give them a day in my jeans

    • Queenie August 9, 2012 at 12.53 #

      I wish you (and others) wouldn’t be offended. When people say they are fat, they might just be using the term factually. I am in one of those smaller sizes that you listed AND I am “fat.” Most people don’t notice because I wear 5 inch stilettos but, at a mere 5 feet tall, I am medically overweight and that (in conjunction with some personal and family medical history–heart, diabetes, etc) is why my doctor just prescribed a diet (that I promise to start next week, haha!) and some tests for me. Due to family history, I know that I will eventually lose the battle of bulge but I am actually kind of glad that I got fat already because I now see that it will probably settle nicely and I’ll still be attractive. Still, people’s offense as I try to own up to my issue, does not help. I sometimes find myself measuring and weighing myself constantly in one day just because the numbers are not adding up to what other people (excluding my doctor) tell me.

    • Penny August 9, 2012 at 12.53 #

      The mind is great at warping a body into something it’s not. I’m a size 6, but when I look in a mirror, all I see the the flab on my tummy and arms and thighs. Sometimes I really do feel like a fat disgusting blob. Am I? Probably not, I’m at a pretty healthy weight and I live a pretty active lifestyle. But I was raised to believe that unless I could meet the beauty ideal of no fat, no muscle, and possibly no bones, I would be too fat.
      We have been all held to an unrealistic standard, and we’re all suffering for it. Instead of thinking, “god, get over yourself,” instead tell yourself “wow, is our society so fucked up that such a little lady would consider herself too fat? We need to do something about this.”

  48. Lily LeBeau (@LilyLeBeautiful) August 8, 2012 at 12.53 #

    I love this. Beautifully written and so true!

  49. Mackenzie | Bright Strange Things August 8, 2012 at 12.53 #

    Great post. I think if we have something to blame our culture and media for it’s not specifically the way it targets fat people or skinny people, it’s the way it invites women to tear each other (and themselves) apart. (The same is probably true for men, but I’m not one so I don’t experience that.) I think we just get bombarded from every direction with this constant message of “you are not good enough, and you never will be.”

    There’s also a particular culture with women though I think where it’s seen as incredibly socially acceptable for just any random person to comment on a woman’s appearance. If you’re bigger, a random passerby will see you eating lunch and tell you to put down the sandwich before you get any bigger. If you’re skinny, somebody will tell you you need to eat some Twinkies. Somebody will tell you you need bigger breasts or smaller breasts or you should work out more and it just goes on and on. Hell, people are watching US Olympians perform incredible feats of athleticism and all they can talk about is Gabby’s hair.

  50. Afton Awesome August 8, 2012 at 12.53 #

    Thank you so much for your beautifully written article. I’m working on a peice for my site in the same vein. It’s such an important issue! Woman must stand together and realize nature loves diversity! We are all beautiful.

  51. sophiajenner August 8, 2012 at 12.53 #

    I love you, that is all :) xx

  52. Rae Marie August 8, 2012 at 12.53 #

    Wow thank you! This is great! mwa! <3

  53. NinnyFella August 8, 2012 at 12.53 #

    Jealousy is such a terrible thing. I remember such skinny-woman jealousy put a dampener on my birthday party a few years ago. I had moved towns and invited some friends along to my party from my old town. With my new friends, I had worked for a couple of years to lose the extra pounds I was carrying and get fit, and I was really proud of my efforts. My old friends arrived and continually berated me for being a “skinny bitch” now and kept telling me I needed to eat more. Their comments were so hurtful that I was glad when they left! Meanwhile they saw nothing wrong with being out of breath at the top of a flight of stairs. Needless to say I haven’t spoken to them since. It doesn’t matter what size you are! You could be a size 0 or a size 20, as long as you’re living a healthy lifestyle. While part of a healthy lifestyle is keeping fit and eating healthy, nutritious foods, I believe a very important part of health is keeping a positive outlook and taking care of your own and others’ well-being (i.e. by ridding yourself of jealousy). So thanks for the post, more people should have your attitude!

  54. Billie August 8, 2012 at 12.53 #


  55. Jessica August 8, 2012 at 12.53 #

    You look so happy and gorgeous, and very sexy. I have never felt sexy (not sad) it’s just I’m such a dork that sexy isn’t my thing. We shouldn’t be pitted against each other we should just make the best of who we are and what we can be. Just be happy healthy (and for those who can sexy) people. Thank you for your article. Loved it.

  56. bybabysrules August 8, 2012 at 12.53 #

    I really appreciate this post. I finished school at 5’2″ and 94lbs. My normal size now is 105-110lbs. I dealt with the anorexia jokes for a long time. And I often “go eat a cheeseburger.”
    But in all seriousness, my love for your writing has increased x10 from this post. You said everything that needs to be said with this right here:
    “Let’s end the body snark war, together, once and for all. Let’s end it by realising that every woman has the potential to be perfect in the eyes of someone else.”

  57. Lyzzie August 8, 2012 at 12.53 #

    While I’m slim, I’m the biggest out of my anorexic looking sisters, my youngersister always made fun of me for being “big”. I just never got why girls have to be so hard on eachother. I hated being made fun of, so I won’t do it to others. Although I wish I had the boobs (real ones) I see some girls have. :)

  58. karen August 8, 2012 at 12.53 #

    I understand where you are coming from, and I agree that it isn’t right to slate anybody based on there looks, but a lot of the time it is done because women are sick and tired of unrealistic images of very thin women forced upon them as the ideal.
    Recently there has been the VS model picture pitted against the Dove picture, and there were so many comments being made that the Dove models were overweight, when in reality they were representative of what a normal healthy body weight ./ shape is. There were comments saying that the VS models represented what an ideal healthy weight / shape is, when this is simply not the case. If you look at the Olympian women, these are indeed women who are the healthiest and fittest they could possibly be, yet they are generally much bigger all over than the VS models.
    If you look behind the scenes of the modelling industry, you will see that it is full of young girls living on diets of water, salad and cigrattes in an unhealthy attempt to attain a very low body weight and a figure that it is not natutal to them.
    The images that have been placed upon us over recent years are unrealistic, and even the models in them do not actually look like that in real life, as they are airbrushed to an impossible to achieve state of so called perfection.
    Whilst some women are naturally very slim, even though they eat well or even consume a high calorific diet, the majority of women are not like this and are pressured into feeling that this is the ideal and how they should look, which is wrong and is causing so many self esteem issues in both grown women and young girls alike.
    I think the current backlash against these very thin images is not trying to put down the indivdual women in them, but is merely trying to get the message out that these women are not representative of the majority of us and that it is ok to have flesh that covers your bones, or boobs bigger enough to warrant a bra.

    • Bree February 9, 2013 at 12.53 #

      Just because one is okay doesn’t mean the other isn’t. Targeting a group of people ie skinny women because of the medias narrow minded perception of beauty is just as ignorant.

  59. Jessica Meloche August 8, 2012 at 12.53 #

    Reblogged this on Pin Up Persuasion and commented:
    My fairy blog-mother Georgina wrote an incredible article about terrible trend of “real women” bashing on social media sites.

  60. Perla Vzla August 8, 2012 at 12.53 #

    Absolutely! I agree with you 100%. Women need to stop being crucified by their weight, specially by other women. No matter what size you are it hurts to be called a “hippo” as much as it hurts to be called “anorexic”.

  61. Daniel Kagle August 8, 2012 at 12.53 #

    I think you have the right Idea. I know a lot of naturally skinny people who hate their bodies and a lot of unhealthy obese women who love their bodies. Go figure I assume everyones delusional in their own way :)

  62. Dana Murray August 8, 2012 at 12.53 #

    As a skinny woman myself I have had to deal with this my whole life in school and even from family. I am constantly asked why and how am I so skinny? Do I do drugs or hve an eating disorder. In reality I have a super fast metabolism. This is not my fault and I am sick of ppl telling me I need to eat more. I can probably eat more than a man and eat all the time. We should not judge someone, leave that to god.

  63. Steph August 8, 2012 at 12.53 #

    An absolutely amazing article. My sister is very petite but has curves. She has an absolutely amazing figure. I don’t agree that every plus size woman has the right to call themselves curvy, because, they might not be. However, i have a friend who has been very very slim her whole life and cannot put on weight no matter what she tried. It kills her every time someone calls her skinny and implies she has an eatign disorder. I think it is time for women to get over it. We all come in different shapes and sizes and if you don’t like it try and change it. I think my little mini rant may be over now :D xx

  64. Betty Amazing August 8, 2012 at 12.53 #

    Wonderfully written, thank you! I wrote a little bit about this in my dissertation (it was about pin up art and the revival etc.)

    It’s something I take really personally – I’m not as small as I was as a teen (who is??) but I used to get a lot of comments from people about my weight – I’ve never been skinny (just slim) – but to be told I wasn’t a “real” woman because of my natural body shape was just appalling.

    I really, really don’t care what shape or size someone is – it’s certainly none of my business to comment about it, so I’d appreciate the same courtesy. Women are beautiful in all sorts of different packaging, there’s absolutely no reason for us to be putting each other down.


  65. Francesca August 8, 2012 at 12.53 #

    Thank you! Finally someone has written something that has truth to it and makes sense. Surely there are bigger issues to deal with in everyone’s lives than this.I’m at the biggest I have ever been in my life (after two babies and the death of my mother) and believe me I have no love for my body right now-it IS NOT BECAUSE I am at my biggest, it is because I an uncomfortable and unhappy about it(before you all start about doing something about it I already am!). And I am that way because of the way it is impacting on MY life! Not because someone told me I shouldn’t be! Not becuase it offends you to see me out in public and certainly not because I have a deep rooted hatred for people I don’t even know who are smaller than me. Bitterness is an awful colour ladies. Some people will just never be happy because they don’t allow themselves to be-they do not, however, have the right to drag everyone else down into their own personal pit of dispair so that their misery has company.

  66. Kellie p August 9, 2012 at 12.53 #

    Thank you! I do pinup modeling in my free time and pinup models are meant to be curvy and im a smaller girl (5’2″ 105 lbs) and i had a bigger girl say that just because im small i cant be a pinup girl but i have the curves. I felt like ahe was attacking me because of her own insecurities and im glad to see that there are some girls who wont say i need to eat more just because im small. I dont have an eating disorder or emotional issues im just naturally small. Thank you for sticking up for all women who get ridiculed for being who we are!

  67. Clay Smith August 9, 2012 at 12.53 #

    That was beautiful and empowering. I enjoy the love and beauty all women have to offer the world .Thank you

  68. Rob August 9, 2012 at 12.53 #

    Thank you thank you thank you. I complained about this on FB a few months ago after the prevalence of the “Fuck society, THIS is more attractive than THIS”, and pitted a big girl against a thin girl. As a male, I have always been the type that has been more attracted to curvier women, but it made me feel ill that in bashing skinny women, we were merely trading one form of marginalization for another. Why can’t they all co-exist peacefully? I love ladies of all sizes! :)

    Well written, and thank you.

  69. Megan August 9, 2012 at 12.53 #

    To me, any woman that is comfortable in their own skin, walks like they own their body (which we all do own our bodies) is confident in who she, no matter what she comes from, what’s in her wallet, her height, or how much she weighs - THAT’s , beautiful to me! I don’t care how big or small! I’ve met some fine husky bruskies! & some delicious skinny minis too! And hotties with in-be-tween bodies. It’s all about how you work it & that thing called sex appeal!

  70. Queenie August 9, 2012 at 12.53 #

    Thank you! I’m trying to figure out where the skinny woman privilege is because people only started being nice to me regarding my figure since I’ve become slightly overweight. In any case, there are plenty of skinny people who do not share the views espoused on skinnygossip and I am—well, was—one of them. Despite preferring my previous pear shape on myself (as I used to be a lovely AA pettanko with a rather gracious blessing in the bum), hour glasses like yourself are very sexy and I think plump, round apples are the cutest, especially the short ones!

  71. Joyce August 9, 2012 at 12.53 #

    I love this post! As a smaller girl, I’ve tried to explain this to some of my friends and all they do is roll their eyes. But being hated is awful, even if you’re being hated for something that other people might think is “ideal.” That being said, I can’t believe how many people read this post and turned around and spewed hate toward Lady about her “white man’s privilege” argument. Yes, I think she’s wrong. Does that mean she deserves hate?? No. Why can’t we all just be a little more respectful?

  72. Charliesmomma August 9, 2012 at 12.53 #

    I was just having this discussion earlier today. Girl on girl hate isn’t going to fix anything! We can all be attractive and all are in our own way! I have to admit me being a smaller girl does have a bit of envy for those bigger curvier girls, but my best friend being one of those girls we would never attact each other for our looks, we know that we are all different and beautiful!

  73. Ryan Sweigart August 9, 2012 at 12.53 #

    I used to be guilty of this sort of thing; “liking” pics about big being beautiful and such. But now I have a skinny girlfriend. She doesn’t do anything crazy to stay skinny; she just IS. I’ve loved and been attracted to all different sorts of women. Some guys don’t like tall women, but I’ve been really turned-on by the few girls I met that are taller than me. Beauty really does come in all shapes, sizes, and colors. Love yourself, and others will come to love you.

  74. vechhany hou August 9, 2012 at 12.53 #

    I feel very self concious about my body because I’ve gained alot of weight in the last two years, so when I see girls that are skinnier than me I feel jealous and I look down at myself. I know I shouldn’t because I should accept who I am and not hate others because of how they look. It is hard to be positive sometimes, but thank you for posting this educational blog.



  75. miss j August 9, 2012 at 12.53 #

    Thank-you for saying this. i am a Skinner girls and to be honest seeing all the ‘skinny girls arnt real women’ things on the Internet hurts. i am really glad you wrote this post.

    Thank you

  76. danielle August 9, 2012 at 12.53 #

    I’m 5’5″ and 106Lbs. It Hurst to be teased about my small waist. I actually look in the mirror every day and wish I could gain this or that, change this or that. I Hate hearing that my two year old daughter is almost as big as me or that she “cant be mine” because of my Size. I feel like showing off my belly full of stretch marks! So I just want to say thank you for this. I appreciate your much kinder words then ive been seeing and hearing everywhere.

  77. Rachel August 9, 2012 at 12.53 #

    Thank you for this – it is wonderful. I myself am a “skinny” woman and run into this all the time with many of my friends, some who are barely a few pants sizes bigger than me. They complain to me about their weight and tell me I have it so “easy,” and what on earth can I say? I’m not even allowed to be sympathetic because I couldn’t /possibly/ understand – they just get angrier. Little do they know several men have told me I would be more attractive if I put on a little weight (which is something I can’t help as much as a woman of any other size can)! I’m a Public Health major and one of the core classes in the department at my university is called “My Body, My Health,” which is basically just about general body-health knowledge and acceptance. Of course, they showed a film ripping apart skinny women in the fashion industry/media and practically invited criticism and bullying. What am I, and other like-sized women, supposed to do when my own major tells me I can’t possibly exist, or that I torture my body to look this way (when probably the only thing I “torture” it with is potato chips)? It is very troubling. So, to sum up a long-winded comment…I’m glad someone is saying this. I hope moving forward that all women can work together to end body-bashing of every type and focus on fitness and health instead of appearances!

  78. signsandwonders2020 August 9, 2012 at 12.53 #

    thank you for speaking out on this issue. I am totally against any bashing myself.

  79. Jenn August 9, 2012 at 12.53 #

    Thank you so much for this post! We’re ALL women and we’re ALL beautiful!

  80. Short & skinny August 9, 2012 at 12.53 #

    Thank you- I don’t do anything in particular to be slim and petite– I just always have been. I eat the cheeseburgers and milkshakes and still look the way I do. I struggle to find clothes that fit right and have to buy padded bras so I can fake some boobs. I kept thinking after I had babies maybe I’d fit in regular women’s clothes, but after my third I still have to shop in the teens area and hope I don’t look too ridiculous. I’ve tried to stop comparing– not just on appearance, but other things. I kept feeling really awful and jealous about how other moms’ homes are super clean whenever I’d see their places and wonder what I was doing wrong. I later found out most of those women had maids who helped them clean every month (and I do it on my own). That’s when I decided to stop competing with others and just do my own best. — a skinny gal

  81. Jenn August 9, 2012 at 12.53 #

    Thank you so much for this post! We are women and we are ALL beautiful.

  82. Windie August 9, 2012 at 12.53 #

    Thank you for this post, I really loved reading it :) Whether skinny people have some kind of “skinny privilege” as mentioned in comments above or not doesn’t matter regarding the issue of hate. No one deserves hate, especially for something they have very limited control over.

  83. AnastasiaB August 9, 2012 at 12.53 #

    As a long time skinny woman who gained weight post baby and then lost it, I feel like I know both sides of the debate. I can honestly say when I was my largest NO ONE said anything about my weight. But before I gained and after I lost it, people felt quite comfortable telling me what they think of my weight and body. Why the double standard? Why is it okay to tell a skinny woman to eat a cookie but not okay to tell a fat woman to put the cookie down?

  84. Marion Reno August 9, 2012 at 12.53 #

    Thanks so much for this post. I was very disheartened to see some of these sorts of comments on the Curvy Kate Australia Facebook page. :\
    Women have enough to worry about. ‘Real women’ are women who exist (ie. are not the creation of Photoshop). Healthy women are all sorts of sizes. Many skinny women already eat sandwiches quite frequently. It’s all totally counterproductive to the idea of accepting a range of bodies and it makes me very sad.

  85. tegalturkey August 9, 2012 at 12.53 #

    Thank you for this! I was very slim growing up and before having a baby and all I ever heard were people saying ‘you should eat more’ ‘you’re sooooo skinny, put on some weight’ and my least favorite – ‘you’ve got no bum to wear those jeans!’ and it’s actually hurtful! I think ppl believe that if you’re skinny you are therefore confident, but it’s not always the case! And it seems to be completely fine to label a skinny woman as sick or anorexic, and yet completely wrong to call an over weight person fat! I’ve never called anyone fat or told them to ‘put down the fork!’ because it’s hurtful, but it didn’t stop me from getting a lashing about my size!
    Thanks for speaking out for the skinny girls, who might be able to eat what they want but it doesn’t mean they are happy with their bodies – just like every other woman in the world!

  86. Cat August 9, 2012 at 12.53 #

    Very intelligently and eloquently put. From a skinny girl that’s been bullied from K-12, thanks for this.

  87. Serena August 9, 2012 at 12.53 #

    Hello, I am a fourteen year old girl who is short, skinny and flat-chested. Last year in my gym class a poplar girl and her friends ruthlessly tormented me while in the change room. They made fun of me for wearing a training bra. Before that experience I had never really realized how boyish I look. :(
    But anyways I besides getting that off of my non-existent chest I wanted to say thank-you for being so perceptive and empathetic, and for wanting to see positive change in the world.

  88. AMF August 9, 2012 at 12.53 #

    thank you for this- brought tears.. just seeing the comments is lifting me up, I feel like it’s impossible to even talk about this because people just belittle you more. My entire life has been filled with this weird feeling of self-consciousness and doubt for my body shape. I know that I will never have the curves that “men want.” I am not the media or the modeling industry, just a good, kind person who happens to be pretty damn thin.I am not a skinny bitch and I would never say hateful things to someone based on their body size, but strangers, family, men, friends, all sorts of people seem to feel like I need to hear these comments, as if being a woman doesn’t come with enough insecurity in our world right now… Thanks for being a gorgeously curvy woman who understands that real women are simply women who don’t bully each other. Real women lift other women up.

  89. Pinkangelnebula August 9, 2012 at 12.53 #

    Unfortunately until the media changes the way it prioritises certain body types as more attractive women who don’t fit these standards will always feel the need to reassert their own attractiveness by unfortunately, and wrongly may I add, criticising the very women that are placed on media pedestals.

    Body ideals have nothing to do with finess or health anymore just what is considered in vogue at the curret type and if natural didn’t place you in that category that you may of course feel threatened or that you don’t match up to the perceived beauty ideals.

    Yes women should be accepting of all of our bodies as that is what makes us unique and beautiful, diversity, but there are times in life when being a certain body type can get you further or be a benefit both as a larger or smaller woman and we can’t pretend that doesn’t happen.

    If I aspired to be a model for instance then in most scenarios more often it would be easier to achieve this if I was a naturally slim woman as this is the media preference IN MOST scenarios. So here as a non naturally slim woman I can understand how this could provoke feelings of insecurity and non acceptance by mainstream society. I am not for one instance saying that it is acceptable to lay into or criticise slimmer women I am just making the point that sometimes it is pretty hard to accept yourself when you don’t fit the social “norm” for both slim and larger women.

    Also I am pretty sure both large and slim women experience the same amount of negative reaction due to their bodies so it is unfair to state that one is worse off than the other.

  90. Colettie Spaghetti August 9, 2012 at 12.53 #

    I have spent most of my life hating my body (i’m a few months off 30). I’ve killed myself since I was a teenager thinking I was too fat. Truth was, back then, I was just a kid – puppy fat and all! In my twenties I have been unbelievably fit – very low resting heart rates etc. – and STILL thought I was in some way not good enough. For who, I don’t know.

    I recently went through some appalling times, and went from a UK 12 to an 8, and I was terribly ill. I’m 5’7″ and a muscular build – I lost huge amounts of muscle mass, and photos of me then make my skin crawl.

    The upshot is, that now I’m better (and a 14!) I can find some peace at last in my body. We as women spend so much time freaking out about how our bodies look – I’m no different – I’ve spent about 15 of my thirty years thinking I was ugly. Being happy in your own skin is something you have to find for yourself. It’s ridiculous how someone else’s opinions are allowed to be so destructive to the little person in your soul. And giving out nastiness will only get you nastiness in return. Just be happy peeps – you’re be best thing that ever happened to you.

  91. TheBaroness August 9, 2012 at 12.53 #

    Bitches be trippin’ – for REAL. Just love yourself, if no-one else did, does or ever will you got to have your own back. Kudos to the author for having the proverbial cajones to call out the snarking bigger girls pushing their own lack of self-love masquerading as ‘confidence’ and ‘telling it as it is’. Usually the ones calling out lack of curves are lacking the same curves they think they have. Being ‘big’ is not being curvy, and that’s just reality. You may have big boobs with a fatter waist and a flat ass. That just makes you a big girl. The author of this blog is big and curvy, learn what curves ARE before ‘yall go dictating to others. Sincerely, Ms. 40-31-40 xo

  92. anon August 9, 2012 at 12.53 #

    One thing I hate personally is that girls who are larger than me don’t think that thinner women are allowed to have insecurities – plenty of ‘thin’ women have days when they dislike their bodies or feel bad about bloating for example..this doesn’t mean that their feelings are invalid just because in someone else’s eyes, they are still thin and have it ‘easier’. Women have insecurities whatever their size.

    • OrganicMommy August 9, 2012 at 12.53 #

      THANK YOU. Great point. In fact, some of the most beautiful women in the world are also the most insecure.

      It really sucks, but I think women, from a very young age, are trained to judge and compare themselves to other women. It’s like the message we get from the world is: No matter how thin and/or pretty you are, you could always be better. Taller, shorter, skinnier, curvier, bigger boobs, smaller nose, fuller lips, bigger eyes, straighter hair, straighter teeth, etc. This is why there are a million beauty products marketed towards women, for every body part imaginable. It’s kinda sad actually.

      It would be so nice to see women of all shapes and sizes and colors support each other!!

  93. cherrylush.com.au August 9, 2012 at 12.53 #

    I bogged about this back in Jan. Drives me nuts when I see those “real women” memes…

  94. leannepike August 9, 2012 at 12.53 #

    Great post, really loved reading it. I think you’re totally right that we need to be appreciative and loving of all women! Who runs the world? Girls! ;)

  95. Karina August 9, 2012 at 12.53 #

    rock on.

  96. Tinkerbeth August 9, 2012 at 12.53 #

    I had a real wake-up call abput this at a party last year. A male friend of mine were showing me some nude photos a model-friend of him had had taken of her, and my reaction was to bash her for being waaaay too thin for my taste (I am bi-sexual btw, I only add this because people tend to find the opnion of straight girls about other girls’ sexyness irrelevant). We went on bashing her for a few minutes about her being thin and the way she posing making one bone or another stick out.
    And then from behind me I hear “I look like that nude you know”. The girl who said that luckily does not lack self-esteem and wasn’t terribly upset, but I was. The fact that I was sort of indirectly bashing this girl that I hold as a dear friend was very upsetting to me, and it made me realize that you are never only bashing the picture, but the person behind it. My friend btw, is gorgeous, and she does not need to eat more. I am at least 2 sizes bigger than her, and she could down twice as much as me in a day, easy, I am sure.
    Had this my friend been unsure about herself thou, my comments about a model, that I do not even know, could have made her feel awful about herself, and I would never want to hurt anyone due to their bodies ever.

  97. Bonnie August 9, 2012 at 12.53 #

    This is the most incredible post I have seen in a long time. Clearly well-written, and…I just don’t think it could’ve been said better. Thank you Georgina, for putting this out there for all of us fellow sisters to take in and digest.

    I plan on sending this to my teenage niece in Southern California. I’m sure it will resonate with her as much as it did with me :)

    By-the-way, beautiful shots and pictures! You are simply gorgeous!

  98. Farah Ng @ Broken Penguins August 9, 2012 at 12.53 #

    I wish women weren’t so overly critical of each other – we’re hard enough on ourselves. Great post.

  99. thatmidcenturyfella August 9, 2012 at 12.53 #

    Great work. I must say this stigma does not end with women. Men face the same criticism. Trust me. It does get old hearing people say, “Oh, you’re cold? Put some meat on your bones.” #stopALLbodysnark

  100. Louise August 9, 2012 at 12.53 #

    George – I guarantee you won’t be waitressing much longer. It seems you have found your calling and I damn well hope you make a career from this!

  101. Kristen T August 9, 2012 at 12.53 #

    This is so’mething i wrote for facebook awhile back, and i thought i should comment with it…sorry its so long, but it fits what you’re talking about perfectly!
    “I just finished watching MoNique’s “Phat Girls” for the first time. I love the message of self empowerment and “big is beautiful”, but I very much dislike the ideas presented that skinny girls are ugly, worthless, and are “bitches”. Some of my dear friends are beautiful, thin women. Some of my dear friends are beautiful, thick women. Why does it have to be a competition? Or an inequation where if A=X then B ≠ X? Why can’t A, B, C, and so on ALL = X? Why is it that society seems to have to have it one way or the other?

    I do realize where this stems from. The best defense is a good offense-just as any football coach or war general. So all of these fat women and their lovers/admirers have fought back to society’s overwhelming message that we’re ugly, nasty, worthless, unhealthy, and most of all-undesirable, by throwing the exact same message at what’s perceived at our opposites-thin women. But what if both Katie AND Karen are gorgeous, smart, and desirable? What if both Kristens have an appeal, even though they have to buy their jeans in different stores?

    Granted, sometimes hate and a plan of attack feels good temporarily to someone who’s been beat down, insulted, and thrown away by seemingly everyone around them. But it’s not helpful or healthy. What if the before *and* after pictures could be seen as both having aspects of beauty? Maybe that day will come.

    While talking to a friend on a hot September day, I commented on the zebra-striped camisole that she was wearing. It would’ve been beautiful on a hanger, but on her, it was simply gorgeous. However, I would’ve never been sitting there confidently in front of that grocery store in it as she was doing. “I can’t stand my stomach”, I commented, explaining why I couldn’t wear anything like that because I try to hide certain parts of my body. “I love mine”, she explained. And she does, because she loves herself. She doesn’t realize how much of a magnet that is to me. I’m not there yet, but working on it. Instead of looking at my legs with disdain for their sturdiness, I see how awesome they are to get me where I need to go-whether it be across campus or 8 miles to work under the Alabama sun. But while I’m slowly getting to a place of self-acceptance, even self-love, may I never look at other with the hatred of disdain that’s glared at me from too many sources, including myself.
    ” -Kristen Todd

  102. lffashionable August 10, 2012 at 12.53 #

    I just shared this post on my blog and Facebook account. You have illustrated this point more eloquently than I’ve ever seen before. I agree with you and truly believe that no woman should ever be insulted based on her shape or size no matter what it may be. True beauty comes from the inside.


  103. Chloe August 10, 2012 at 12.53 #

    I LOVE THIS POST. I totally agree– when I was thicker, or when I was thinner, it’s never right to hate on another woman (or another person’s appearance) to make yourself feel better. It doesn’t work– all it does it tear someone else down, and honestly, being hateful to someone else is never really going to make anyone feel better.

    Big is beautiful. Thin is beautiful. Being a person who isn’t obsessed with ripping down others, is the most beautiful. :)

  104. brainwashproject August 10, 2012 at 12.53 #

    Hey, great post! This is exactly the kind of content I am looking for to publish in Brainwash Magazine. (A new body positive magazine that I’m putting together for girls who want to read about more than just appearance, boys and clothes, check out a video about it here: http://www.pozible.com/brainwashproject) I’m currently accepting submissions. If you’re at all interested in being part of the mag I’d love to hear from you. Send an email to thebrainwashproject@gmail.com. Cheers, Jessica Barlow.

  105. kyotoredbird August 10, 2012 at 12.53 #

    Oh my gosh, THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THIS! I am a petite, thin woman with a very small bust size and I have struggled with body acceptance for a long time. People do not realize that thin women can and do have body issues; it’s actually very common, especially in a society that says bog breasts and big hips are most desirable. I have always HATED the term “real women have curves” (real women have xx chromosomes and that is the only requirement for being real!) and “only dogs go for bones” (so my husband is a dog because he loves me and finds me attractive even though I am thin?) It is NOT ok to bash a woman’s body, especially if you don’t know her or what’s going on in her life. I have had to deal with the fact that well-meaning friends or family will ask me about my weight management, but that is different from some snide stranger in the grocery store announcing “get that girl a cheeseburger!” I think all women deserve to feel beautiful, whether they are super-curvy or super-slim, black or white, tall or petite, or anything in between. I am all for more diversity in modeling and fashion, and I am all for all body types being celebrated. That includes my own.

  106. Opus the Poet August 10, 2012 at 12.53 #

    As a former male model I know that many of the female models were half-starved to maintain their figures (some quite a bit more than half starved). I also worked with what was referred to as “Plus-sized” models and even the “fat” ones were still thinner than me. I have a skeletal structure that makes me look like a body builder without the need for all that lifting, plus my daily routine kept my body fat down so that I took a decent picture without the need to starve myself to show cheekbones. Even the “Plus-sized” models were always talking about what diet they were on and complaining about how much I was eating and how I never looked “fat” at a shoot.

    So yes, the fighting and back-biting about body size goes on all the time and not just between the women.

    And just for the record I like women of every shape. It’s not the package it’s what’s inside that counts.

  107. Elliott August 11, 2012 at 12.53 #

    I agree that judging any person by their size is terrible. I agree hating and hating on skinny people, fat people is absolutely childish and downright unacceptable. However I am aware there IS a privilege with being skinny. I am a size 18, I weigh 225lbs and I am 5’1. I am obese, my BMI (though no longer really medically founded) is 41-42%. I haven’t always been this size, while I have always been ‘chubby’, I kept my weight around 145lbs, which even then was considered ‘heavy for my size’. The skinny privilege people have referred or mention is so absolutely common place and factors into each moment it sometimes is missed. I have been chronically ill for the last 2.5 years, and because of numerous medications, lack of energy and from that a sedentary activity level coupled with severe depression, I gained 80+ pounds. My medical issues aren’t taken as seriously because I am not losing weight, I cannot go into the mall and visit the gap and buy pants, a dress, a skirt, or a pair of shorts- I am often stuck with buying socks and ballet flats. I can’t go to Banana Republic for clothing as their LARGEST size is a 16, something I sized out of at least a year ago. I get rushes of crippling anxiety when I go into a fitting room because I feel I’m being looked at. I hate my picture being taken because I focus on that double chin, and those really big arms. The privilege being mentioned is what some might think of as minimal: a thin person can go into every store and find an article of clothing to try on and likely fit. a thin person can order clothing online with a blindfold on, and the zipper won’t catch on their back-fat. A thin person does not need to consider if they can or can’t fit into an airline seat, and then be told they need to pay for an extra seat because your arms don’t cross. A thin person is not taken out of line at amusement parks because the seat won’t clasp properly. These things happen to fat people. It’s a privilege this level of embarrassment and humiliation doesn’t happen to thin people. There are billboards all over the los angeles county area for 1800 lap-band, a surgical procedure that has a mortality rate, to get people thinner. There aren’t billboards offering surgeries to get people fat. Thin people aren’t declined health insurance for being thin- fat people are. obese people are. I am aware that any type of body type can come with an eating disorder whether that eating disorder is not eating, counting calories, binging and purging. so while again I agree that the vitriol and hate and awful names and judgments against thin people are unacceptable, I also agree that there IS a privilege for being thin.

  108. Juliette Wilde August 12, 2012 at 12.53 #

    Agreed!! Women of ALL shapes and sizes are beautiful…so putting “us” against each other in a fat vs skinny battle is ridiculous. Making weight related comments to thin women is the same exact thing as someone calling a big girl fat. Stop picking on each other people! Love yourselves, and one another instead!

  109. Stephanie August 12, 2012 at 12.53 #

    I’ve been following your blog for a few months and I’ve found your pictures both beautiful and inspiring. Your confidence in your lovely body encourages me to be more confident in my (non-industry standard) body and enjoy shopping for clothes that fit and flatter me. Now I know that you have beautiful thoughts, too. Hating and speaking hatefully about others’ appearances is not the equivalent of loving ourselves. Thank you so much for sharing your tips for outer and inner beauty.

  110. neira August 12, 2012 at 12.53 #

    Thin privilege? Right…

    I guess having not just regular asshats, but even medical professionals, harass you even when you’ve just managed to GAIN weight is privilege.

    I guess being diagnosed with 3 different disorders including CROHN’S DISEASE(!) as one girl was, purely because she was thin, is privilege.

    I guess being constantly reported to mental health professionals as ‘anorexic’ even when you eat 3 meals a day like everyone else is privilege.

    Grow up. Stop talking nonsense.

    • Leelee August 24, 2012 at 12.53 #

      Wow! Your post was fucking evil. Illness against illness. Come on now. There is thin privilege. Just like white privilege, male privilege, heterosexual privilege, college degree privilege, able-body privilege, class privilege, religious privilege, assigned gender privilege, and so many more privileges. Privilege can be something acquired/obtained or is can be a born-in/natural privilege. There certain advantages in society for being thin. People can not help their privilege, but by denying it, you are reinforcing that it is okay for people to be treated less than you. Just because you have one privilege, doesn’t mean your entire life is now all good. Life runs in cycles of circles not levels of hierarchy. I am sorry that doctors treated you wrong, but don’t discredit the other women to uplift yourself. Your more than that. Just because you have thin women privilege, doesn’t mean that everything in your life is perfect. It just mean that for that most part your existence in the “weigh-in” society is a little easier than larger women. And certainly everything is case by case basis. But think of it this way. There are certainly poor, uneducated, white people in America. But their visibly white skin is privilege. Although their life may not always be easy, being white is an advantage in America. So yes they experience the fuck-up-ness, but they are still PRIVILEGED. You are privilege and not privilege all at the same time. There are certain times where your thinness may be a disadvantage, like you won’t find anything at “Lane Bryant” (plus size clothing store), but you are still privileged. The number of stores you can shop in the mall where that “Lane Bryant” is, is way more than the more than likely maybe 1-3 stores plus sized women have is that same mall. Are these factors your problem. NOT AT ALL. Should people taunt you because of your size, NOT AT ALL. But you have to do your part and recognized that society does a lot more in your favor, that even stretches beyond clothes. Look at the structure of an airplane, larger women and men and non gender conforming folks can’t even sometimes fit in these seats or even fit the seat belts. They are humiliated at airports, forced to buy two seats or ask for a seat belt extender. The airline doesn’t call them fatty-fatty, but it does say you need to be a certain size, because we only accommodate for people like this. These factors are not your fault, but you are able to be included and benefit from that factors that be. It is not personal. I am sure you are beautiful women, who doesn’t hate people because of their size. But the face remains, YOUR ARE THIN WOMEN PRIVILEGED!

  111. Therese Lavery August 13, 2012 at 12.53 #

    your blog “Why I don’t hate skinny women” thank you, i have been underweight going up and now more normal, i am still petite. Some women dont understand bullying and taunting happens to women of all sizes. life is not easier/better if you are a different size and people make all kinds of assumptions about thin women as they do with larger women. thank you so much for being understanding and expressing it i wish more people are like you.

  112. Elsa August 15, 2012 at 12.53 #

    oh my god i love you and this post and everything. THANK YOU.

  113. MissyAGoGo August 17, 2012 at 12.53 #

    Thank you for writing this. In the end, people will not remember you when you are gone based upon your waist size, but the size of your heart (or soul if you must). If you are confident in who you are, as a human being, your figure should not even matter.

  114. Michelle Jackson August 17, 2012 at 12.53 #

    I don’t think this type of behaviour is fat vs thin at all.
    Some of the comments above disagreed with the post in really quite a minor way (basically it’s less offensive to call someone too skinny than too fat as being called too fat implies a laziness and over indulgent lifestyle) and were promptly attacked for it.
    The people doing the attacking were doing the same thing they had just heralded George for trying to prevent! Only the topic was different.
    Some people will find skinny more attractive than fat, curvy more attractive than muscular, tall over short… it’s a matter of preference and the grass will always be greener.
    The thing is, if you are going to be photographed and wind up on the internet, people will comment on it, some will be much harsher than they would be if they were asked for an opinion in person (hello internet balls) which is uncalled for but we’re all guilty of it at some point.
    I agree with Georgina on most points. Slating someone else’s body isn’t going to make you any happier in your own. We are a bit too unrestrained in our online comments. Louis Vuitton bags are tacky as hell. But I don’t think I’d categorise all that behaviour as bullying necessarily… an isolated throw away comment thats been poorly worded in the heat of the moment can indeed have a devastating effect on whoever the subject is, but I don’t think I would feel bullied unless it was, say the same person deliberately trying to put you down, making repeated negative comments or being deliberately spiteful.
    The use of the word bully just didn’t quite sit right in the context and it’s that part that stuck with me after the post. That combined with the harsh mob mentality of some of the follow up comments, both here and on the PinUp Girl Clothing Facebook page has been bugging me far more than someone innocently saying ‘real women’ with no malice behind it.

    (sorry for the novel, been percolating in my head for a week and I felt bad for a few of the PUG newbies on FB who came on the page all happy and got attacked for using a phrase which was meant in a positive way)


  115. Kerri August 17, 2012 at 12.53 #

    As a thin woman, thank you! (And I left a nice, long, angry, argumentive comment on Skinnygossip’s “fat pride” article ^_~)
    I’ve grown up feeling inadequate from both sides. My dad had always called me a fatass, while at school I was made fun of for having no ass. Both boys and girls made fun of me for having no boobs, and yet I always saw a gut, fat rolls, jiggly thighs, and a saggy butt on myself, and saw women I wouldn’t even think of as really skinny, with much smaller sizes than me.
    Now that I’ve finally realized I’m small enough and have fallen quite in love with the classic hourglass figure, and pin up models, I’ve been bombarded with statements and pictures that have made me feel inadequate about my curves.
    Yes, this is a problem with myself, and my own self esteem, but I thank you for standing up for us boobless boobs as well.
    Despite how I see myself, I find all sizes capable of being beautiful, as well as capable of being ugly. For the most part, healthy is beautiful. Whether someones is malnourished (which is common for all sizes), undernourished, eating unhealthy foods, don’t exercise enough or exercise too much, it will show. And even an unhealthy mindset and lack of self esteem plays into a person’s attractiveness, so it’s all about how she rocks it. ;)

  116. Shannon August 20, 2012 at 12.53 #

    THANK YOU!!! You are an inspiration to all woman!

  117. Leelee August 24, 2012 at 12.53 #

    Some of the statements are confidence booster not insults. I am black and I say shit like “My Black is Beautiful”, “I like my women with pigment” “Black Power!” and so many more. These are affirmations of my love for myself in a society doesn’t always show me love. Also, look up drag queen culture, drag queens read bitches (insult people). Like drag queens, fat women are not always accepted in all community, their sharp tongues provide them with a since of power. PRIVILEGE is real. It is a hard thing to sallow. Sometimes you just have a advantage b/c of who you are. My college education makes me privilege over people from my inner city community without one. Even though we are from the same place, I have experienced more and I am able to adapt and be accepted in more areas on society just because of college, Think about the fat and skinny thing like “Black Power” vs. “White Power” which would be more acceptable? One group on people have a history of hate. Now sure fat people sometimes hate hard, and that is certainly not right. BUT!!! I understand the history and the source.

  118. Tom Hesselbach August 27, 2012 at 12.53 #

    You decidedly put a new twist on a topic that’s been written about for years. Stunning stuff, just great! I enjoy reading a post that will make people think, thanks and we want more! Added to FeedBurner too.

  119. The Curvy Socialite September 5, 2012 at 12.53 #

    Thank you so much for writing this. Something that I never really took into account…Wording is important and carries a lot of weight (pun intended). Women come in all shapes and sizes and should be appreciated on all fronts. It’s hard enough being a woman in general with attacks coming from all sides, we need to focus on supporting one another. Thank you again.

  120. The Curvy Socialite September 5, 2012 at 12.53 #

    Reblogged this on The Curvy Socialite and commented:
    Something that I never really took into account…Wording is important and carries a lot of weight (pun intended). Women come in all shapes and sizes and should be appreciated on all fronts.It’s hard enough being a woman in general with attacks coming from all sides, we need to focus on supporting one another.

  121. Sara September 5, 2012 at 12.53 #

    good I totally agree with what you say!! I have 3 of my best friends who are thin and we never did these differences or these struggles that are quite frankly ridiculous. The women are all beautiful, and there should be no war between us, at least, so it should be … kiss ….. excuse me for any errors but I do not speak English well!

  122. therioshamanism September 11, 2012 at 12.53 #

    Whenever we judge each other’s bodies we perpetuate the idea that women are only valuable for those bodies, and not the rest of us as well. Feminism is about opening up women’s options, whether that’s to choose to be a model or a scientist (or both, even!) and to be comfortable in our skins no matter the size.

  123. thelovelymissquinn September 22, 2012 at 12.53 #

    Reblogged this on I Enjoy Being a Girl and commented:
    I am so glad I came across this wonderful blog. I actually just went through a horrible depression trying my hardest to put meat on my “bones” because I was feeling inadequate as a woman. I have small breasts too, so that adds to my insecurities immensely. Despite the doctors constantly telling me that I’m at least 20lbs over weight, I’m still always being called skinny and that I have “no butt” or “there’s nothing to me”
    It hurts badly, especially coming from other women.
    And it’s not my fault that my bones are so big that the meat I have isn’t enough to keep them from showing. Each time during the summer that I was seen wearing a bathing suit and I stretched, I felt immediately apologetic to anyone who saw my ribs stick out. I tried putting on weight by stuffing my face but I couldn’t put it on. And instead of the insults decreasing, they increased because they would hate on me for being able to “eat like that and still be skinny”
    *take a deep breath* Sorry, it’s been pretty rough and honestly, the insults aren’t a recent thing. It’s been a constant my whole life. So when I read this, it brought back all those emotions and hurt feelings to the surface. I thought I had gotten rid of them but they were simply buried. And with these beautiful words from “the enemy” (that’s not saying BBw are the enemy I mean to go off of her words. the way the media has been used to pit women against each other. completely figurative in nature). I immediately felt like I have an ally.
    Thanks so much for posting this and standing up for us “skinny” women.

  124. thelovelymissquinn September 22, 2012 at 12.53 #

    I reblogged you post with the following thoughts:

    “I am so glad I came across this wonderful blog. I actually just went through a horrible depression trying my hardest to put meat on my “bones” because I was feeling inadequate as a woman. I have small breasts too, so that adds to my insecurities immensely. Despite the doctors constantly telling me that I’m at least 20lbs over weight, I’m still always being called skinny and that I have “no butt” or “there’s nothing to me”
    It hurts badly, especially coming from other women.
    And it’s not my fault that my bones are so big that the meat I have isn’t enough to keep them from showing. Each time during the summer that I was seen wearing a bathing suit and I stretched, I felt immediately apologetic to anyone who saw my ribs stick out. I tried putting on weight by stuffing my face but I couldn’t put it on. And instead of the insults decreasing, they increased because they would hate on me for being able to “eat like that and still be skinny”
    *take a deep breath* Sorry, it’s been pretty rough and honestly, the insults aren’t a recent thing. It’s been a constant my whole life. So when I read this, it brought back all those emotions and hurt feelings to the surface. I thought I had gotten rid of them but they were simply buried. And with these beautiful words from “the enemy” (that’s not saying BBW are the enemy I mean to go off of her words. the way the media has been used to pit women against each other. completely figurative in nature). I immediately felt like I have an ally.
    Thanks so much for posting this and standing up for us “skinny” women.”

    It really pulled on one of my heart strings and if my best friend wasn’t in the room, I would’ve let the tears that are welling up fall freely. Thank you once again.

  125. Sarah King September 27, 2012 at 12.53 #

    You go girl!! Loved this aritcle!!

  126. Ariana2012 September 30, 2012 at 12.53 #

    Sadly female bullying is a well documented social phenomina where other lasses attack your career by forming coups against you and spreading rumors, as if sexism isn’t enough. Now, after a very pretty white woman (blonde and very attractive) told me in the dressing area “wow, you’re gorgouse, I bet those b-words be hating.” Small wonder women are not taken seriouse. I set myself apart from that high-school catty behavior. I’m happily married, a mother, have a good job, just don’t have time for silliness.

  127. Jennifer October 9, 2012 at 12.53 #

    Just this past weekend I was at my brother’s fiancee’s bachelorette shower. After many cocktails, my brother’s fiancee said to me and my 2 slender sisters….”I talk bad about you girls because I hate you all because you are all skinny, especially you (she said pointing at me)” Then another woman in the group, a plus sized woman, said pointing to my very petite little sister, “I used to look like you with tiny tits, and I prayed to God and got these nice big boobs.” I honestly felt terrible. It was all so mean. I felt like I had to point out my own flaws to make them feel better.

    • Jennifer October 11, 2012 at 12.53 #

      There is beauty in all women. It is up to us to see our own beauty as well as the pretty in women of all shapes and sizes.

  128. Jennifer Brewster October 27, 2012 at 12.53 #

    Thank you for this. I’m very tiny, maybe not very curvy but certainly female. I cannot help how small I am, I -do- eat sandwiches. I’ve never been hateful to anyone for their size and my lifelong history has proved I am not size-ist when dating or making friends. Being “the runt”, I’ve already spent most my life being mocked and not being taken seriously at work (“there’s a kid that works here?!?). These past few years, I’ve really begun to feel the hate from my fuller acquaintances, from muttered comments about anorexia, sandwiches and strong winds to full on vitriolic rants and nasty facebook images. All this hatefulness didn’t make me gain weight or make anyone lose weight… all it did was leave me with even more media driven self-loathing despite logically knowing better than to take that into my heart.

    Only when we are divided can we be torn apart.

  129. Stuart December 8, 2012 at 12.53 #

    Very late comment here, but I just wanted to express appreciation for this wonderfully written article. Too much of the burgeoning “body confidence” movement is based on the idea that the best way to increase the confidence of larger ladies is to denigrate thin women. Being married to a naturally very thin woman, with a ten-year old daughter, who is the same, these attitudes really worry me. Just last night on Graham Norton, Jess Ennis claimed that her body looks so much better than those awful “stick thin” women and got a huge round of applause from the audience. We should celebrate ALL shapes and sizes – and insult none.

  130. Cyn December 20, 2012 at 12.53 #

    “I will never hate skinny women. Do you know why? Because I am not at war with anyone but myself,” that is so perfectly put. I thank you for this post this is something I have struggled with at times. I certainly have my own beauty preferences but you’re absolutely right we should need to put down others to feel better about ourselves thanks again

  131. Aicha December 29, 2012 at 12.53 #

    I’ve always been extremely thin. It’s genetic, most women in my family are thin and never real gain more than 10-15lbs after childhood. So you can the imagine the hell I went through once I started high school. The bullying, name calling.
    But my best friend, my only friend, was the polar opposite of me. She was big. And guess what? She was bullied and called names.
    I’ve always tried to fight some battle but high school taught me something: everyone is going to have their opinion and some people don’t realize that opinions are not fact or true for everyone. It may be your opinion that I need to eat something, it may be your opinion that my friend needed to stop eating. But you know what? We don’t feel that way towards ourselves or toward each other. We just the way we were meant to be.

  132. Rose January 15, 2013 at 12.53 #

    Hi, really grateful for your post on this – I’ve been stick thin most of my life and sick to death of being the sustained target of vicious unfeeling comments, mostly from other women, on my size. They seem to make it a mission to want to analyse and comment on what I eat, what I wear, what I look like and making jokes on these topics. I’m not going to suggest for one minute that its directly comparable to taunts that larger ladies sometimes get as I’m aware that theres more of a stigma attached to being larger. However theres no reason for anyone to turn on someone else becuase of how they look.

  133. Katie January 24, 2013 at 12.53 #

    The saddest thing is that underneath this article there was an add telling me to “lose ten pounds of belly fat” :(

  134. Becky January 24, 2013 at 12.53 #

    Really well written. Thank you for putting a balanced view across! Working with teenage girls I see every day the effects of negative comments on figures – both skinny & curvy

  135. Mercedes Villanueva February 2, 2013 at 12.53 #

    As a skinny woman, I thank you for this article. I’ve always been torn down by some (I repeat: some, not all) larger women and it is quite hurtful as I would never turn around and do the same to them. Beauty comes in all shapes and sizes.

  136. Annie Ichord February 11, 2013 at 12.53 #

    I also want to say thank you for writing this article. I am neither “skinny” or “plus size”; I am athletic AND curvy, thin on top, fuller on the bottom. My big sister is your classic, curvy beauty that has always been told she’s ‘fat’. My baby sister is your classic, uber thin waif that has always been told she’s ‘anorexic’. BOTH OF THEM ARE BEAUTIFUL!!!! I am so sick and tired of the spewing of negativity, especially when it’s over a single image. Mocking someone for ANY aspect of their appearance (I was mocked tirelessly for having a big butt and no boobies) is cruel and hurtful. FINALLY, someone explained it as well as I would have like to see. THANK YOU!!! (PS – you are GORGEOUS) ;-)

  137. Karen February 19, 2013 at 12.53 #

    Hallelujah Sister!!! Well said. How about well all just focus on loving our selves and living full, happy, healthy lives. If we all looked the same, how boring would life be. The word “hate” should be struck out of the dictionary

  138. ekmcleodphotography February 19, 2013 at 12.53 #

    Thank you so much for this post! I am 172cm tall and weigh 49kg. I eat more than any of my friends and do not exercise. Yet I get these comments all too regularly and was picked on from when I was 4 years old for being skinny. Other little 4 year old ballet dancers picked on me so much I quit.

    Some people are so full on in expressing their disgust for my natural physique, that they seem to completely overlook the fact that to say things like “oh my god look how skinny your wrists are! You would just blow away in the next breeze! Jeezus, go eat a cheeseburger already!” Is exactly as offensive as “oh my god look how fat your wrists are! Watch out, You are going to break that seat! Jeezus, lay off the cheeseburgers!”. And if I point this out, most of the time I get – why do you care they are just jealous?! Cos it still hurts, and at the very basis its RUDE, that’s why!!!

    So thank you for pointing this out for the bitter women out there. It’s NEVER ok to ostracize another person, let alone for something as ridiculous as how they are physically built. So i genuinely thank you for putting this out there!

  139. R February 21, 2013 at 12.53 #

    There need to be more bigger ladies like you!

    Signed – a skinny girl who is sick of mean comments from fat people

  140. Heidi Hastings February 21, 2013 at 12.53 #

    Thank you for this amazing post! I was born premature (weighed a pound when I was born). I’ve been called “bag of bones” figure like a boy, you name it. Thin, Curvy, Tall, Short we all should be considered beautiful. Never give into hatred by hating. Bravo on your article! <3 H

    • Louise February 27, 2013 at 12.53 #

      I enjoyed reading your post thanks. It made me think- personally I do not feel I have a right to pass negative comments on anyone’s body and never have. I have been many sizes from very underweight to slightly overweight and prefer my body now. I have been bullied for my weight and whatever other insults bullies could think of. I think everyone has their own ideal weight which is the weight they maintain when they are being healthy- eating well and exercising. It’s all different. The world would be one boring place if everyone was the same.

      I have meet many beautiful women both slim, skinny, curvy, plus size and I enjoy appreciating other women’s attractiveness. We should start a movement to celebrate all shapes and sizes (also ages and races) because no two women are alike (not even identical twins).

  141. shanbanana March 14, 2013 at 12.53 #

    You are a beautiful person and this post is so well done, not to mention articulate. Your point of view is sadly not in the majority, but I can only hope that some people will read it and change their minds about how they perceive other people and themselves.

  142. Jennifer Lyles April 14, 2013 at 12.53 #

    Thank you for writing this it was very inspiring. I have always fought with my body since I was old enough to start caring about my appearance. I have been the very skinny and the obese all in one lifetime. Since having my three beautiful children I am now at a very HAPPY 185 because even though some people think I look unhealthy I feel as though I am quite beautiful. In my eyes every woman is beautiful in her own way its all in how you present yourself…So once again thank you for writing this I just wished all of us women tought this way….

  143. Shiro April 27, 2013 at 12.53 #

    Thanks for this article. I randomly found this while searching around on Google.

    I know this article was intended for women, but I’m a naturally skinny guy that has to deal with being ridiculed because of his weight. People assume I don’t eat enough, they assume I’m a pushover, and I assume my weight is partly why I’ve been rejected more than a few times… especially since women have actually told me I’d be more attractive if I could gain some weight.

    But that aside, it’s nice to see some people have enough common sense to see that hating on thin people is just as messed up as hating on overweight ones. And if what I’ve heard is true, then girls get a lot more crap about this kind of stuff than guys do.

    • dddg February 24, 2014 at 12.53 #

      Yo dude! I’m thin as well and people also tell me to eat some more. And I definitely prefer thinner women. But that’s my choice and I will be okay with yours too.

      People are just brainwashed morons if they believe every stereotype or everything on television or the media.

  144. Annie June 12, 2013 at 12.53 #

    I love this article. The comments have been really interesting, too.

    Over the last year I’ve lost around 3 stone. Before, I was occasionally called fat, but I wasn’t unhappy – I lost the weight because I discovered I had IBS, and restricting sugar and wheat really helped my symptoms. I’m now at the lower end of the “ideal” BMI range and a UK size 10, maintaining it nicely, and I feel a lot better.

    I came across this article because I wanted to understand why friends and family are starting to get so snarky with me about my weight. When I choose eggs instead of a bagel, or salad instead of chips, I’m bullied or made fun of for not eating carbs. It’s totally ridiculous that I will often make myself poorly by eating sugar/wheat when I’m in company, just to avoid the backlash. And it’s fair to say that these people – my mum, sisters, aunties, friends – are mostly overweight themselves, and they’re perhaps jealous of my self-control in not eating sugar anymore. One of them told me “you’ll give yourself anorexia”, which I found truly bizarre. She claims she’s happy with her size, and wouldn’t want to look like me for the world.

    I’m not saying this like “poor little me”. I just find it fascinating that someone who purports to be “big and proud” would bother to put me down like that, when I’ve only ever been complimentary towards her. She can’t be as comfortable with herself as she insists. This article, and the comments, have made me feel sorry for her cynicism, but I’m beginning to see her side of the story. I think she feels as though I look down on her because I lost weight and she didn’t, when actually I’m staring at her food wishing I could eat pasta again without getting sick!

    Skinny privilege – I see where you’re coming from, in theory, but other than the IBS my life hasn’t changed one iota since I lost weight. I still have the same body shape, hip/waist ratio, it’s just a few (okay, more than a few) inches narrower, therefore I experience the same problems finding clothes to fit; they’re still too tight/too baggy in all the places they were before. I still have fat days, people still feel free to negatively comment on my weight (just at the other end of the scale). I’m just frustrated in smaller sizes!

    Great post :) Cheers.

  145. Emma July 25, 2013 at 12.53 #

    I hope you guys don’t hate me for pointing this out but most of the photos of those “curvy” women just show women with big boobs and fleshy thighs. A curvy woman is one who has a defined waistline, with well proportioned boobs and hips. What is shown in those pictures is not that. Most of these women with less fat would just be straight, a curvy woman is one who whether gaining or losing weight is still curvy. Beyonce would fall into that curvy, not Scarlett Johansson. Take a closer look.

  146. Erica September 17, 2013 at 12.53 #

    Ok I am agreement about this article in many ways but there are women and men out there that are are not curvy or skinny or in between this is not just women I’m talking about overweight obese ppl who do nothing to keep themselves healthy fine their choice to eat bad foods not take care of themselves but my biggest issues is that they want to be overweight lazy frumpy whatever their inner issues are that cause them to be that way fine but they bring these habits on their children feeding them unhealthy foods give them instant entertainment with electronics instead of encouraging them to be active go for a walk with your kids kick them off the couch get them a bike instead of a playstation do something but they don’t need to teach children healthy habits so they don’t end up obese sick high blood pressure diabetes and worst of all being teased alot of these children end up being bullies we as a society if the parents won’t do anything then we must jump in and help in any way we can

  147. Agustina October 5, 2013 at 12.53 #

    ThaNk you. I’m naturally slim and my whole life i have been tornmented. By full figured women just cause my weight has been the same for more then a decade. I tried eating fatty food and whey proteins but I have realize that my health is more important then trying ti b something I can never b. Thank you 4 not begin one of them. Women just need to love what they have not what the can’t b.

  148. Em December 11, 2013 at 12.53 #

    I really feel no sympathy for thin women. Their bodies are praised from every angle and then they have the nerve to complain that they have “insecurities” and “flaws” I really don’t wanna hear it. They wouldn’t know what real insecurities are if it hit them in the damn face.

    • fullerfigurefullerbust December 11, 2013 at 12.53 #

      Why can’t thin women have insecurities? That sounds very narrow minded!

    • Kayla December 11, 2013 at 12.53 #

      That’s awesome! I don’t pity pathetic people like you. There’s a reason why you’re so bitter and you throw your problems at thin people. Look at the bigger picture. I have no empathy for you Em. Keep living your sad life.

    • Martine March 13, 2014 at 12.53 #

      Feel whatever you want. But if you don’t want to be treated badly, don’t treat others badly. You don’t want to be called fat? Don’t call anyone skinny…or fat for that matter. Its not really your business what size anyone is. If they like it, then its all good. if you don’t think skinnier women are insecure, then you should be happy for them, not trying to tear them down. Believe me, Karma is a bitch.

  149. Kris January 15, 2014 at 12.53 #

    I love this! I was feeling distressed over this issue but couldn’t articulate it without fear of backlash from my artist peers who were making work about body issues, usually beautifying those who were not model size (which I 100% support!). So I did some googling and found this post.

    After reading supportive articles like this one, I now know exactly what to say the next time someone points out the fact that they can see my rib cage or collar bones. Would you tell a bigger person the opposite? You’d look like a total douche. The same should be for all body types. Mind your own business and love me for who I am or gtfo of my life.

  150. louisa browning gower February 20, 2014 at 12.53 #

    I love you i feel bad cos im a curvy woman i have a modeling contract bt dont get many jobs cos im curvy it breaks my heart as its mypassion to show curvy woman can be beautiful and sexyy well done xxx

  151. Claire April 14, 2014 at 12.53 #

    This was lovely to read I am a bigger woman im a size 14-16 but I am on a diet as I want to lose weight I hate it when I see the bigger woman saying a real woman is curvy whilst broadcasting that their on a diet? Does this mean when they lose the weight and are happy with their size that they are no longer a real woman ppffttt it annoys me my best friend is slim but she is my rock and always tells me im gorgeous the way I am when im down about my weight so why do girls (not women) use this horrible phrase and to call someone skinny is rude slim women work hard to keep fit and slim and don’t deserve to be slated for being slim jealousy is a horrible thing and the sooner theses so called real women realise this the better like I said I am on a diet and have even joined a crazy exercise class called metafit and I never know I may be in the slim category and I will fight hand in hand to stop this nonsense of jealousy and childish get a grip slim haters you’ll always find faults on women that have worked hard to accomplish their size and weight much love to all x

  152. u lei October 18, 2014 at 12.53 #

    Thanks for writing this! During my puberty stage I gained a lot of weight due to an unhealthy habit and people would constantly tell me to loose weight. At that time though, I was hurt but at the same time I knew the reason for my weight gain and the problem it caused me (really bad acne and scars) so I was determined to loose weight and get back on a much healthier diet. However, it seems that the world is just never satisfied! People always find something to pick on and they have no idea how much effect that has on one’s self esteem. I became more active, ate less packaged food, and overall I saw tremendous improvement in my skin and health. Total I had lost about a little more than 10 pounds total. My bone structures are more defined, and I have lost that “curve”. Now, all my friends and even my family are telling me “boys like girls with big boobs and curves, they don’t like stick figures”, “what do you eat for lunch, a slice of orange?”, “you need to eat more” and such. And when I told them, “well I don’t really want or care for curves or big boobs, i’m happy with the way I am. ” They laughed at me and said I’m weird. Yes, I say that I don’t care, i’m happy with the way I look, but all the negativity I hear (even when its about other people) just makes me feel so insecure about myself.

    I am so sick and tired of people picking on one another about their image. When I see social media with pictures of models and people would comment”someone need to stuff a donut or two in her”, “I am sick of seeing anorexics on the runway”, or “that’s gross”, it frustrates me that people would just judge someone like that without even know about them, and it frightens me because if I share some similar characteristics of these people, than what would people say about me when they see me?

    Everyone is built differently. Some or bigger, some or smaller. Some curvy, and some are more narrow and slender. A real woman can be any of them! The important thing shouldn’t be about the “what men likes” and such. ITS OUR BODY and we should TAKE THE BEST CARE FOR IT! If you are healthy, have no medical/health issues, isn’t that all it matters? and healthy doesn’t mean fat or skinny, healthy means you are getting the nutrients you need to be where your body fucntions in its best state and that you are at YOUR OWN BEST physical self


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