When I was 20, almost 21, I made a big decision to have a breast reduction. It was not a decision I made lightly, or quickly, but my body loathing just got to the point where I had to do something about it. But first, let me go back for you.
I won’t say my story started when I read the book Sweet Memories by LaVyrle Spencer, because it had really started years ago. What is funny is when I was growing up, I was so oblivious to my size. I knew I was skinny, but I’d never really thought about anything else when it came to my size. Looking back at photos of myself now, though, I can see that I was what I would consider a “normal” breast size up through my sophomore year of high school. Somewhere between then and my senior year of high school, they just grew.
Reading that book, though, opened my eyes to the possibility that I could change myself. It was about a young woman who decided to get a reduction herself.
I can’t even tell you what size I was when I got my reduction. Knowing what I know now about bras and sizing, I can tell you that I was so skinny that there would not have been any bra size in existence that would have comfortably fit me. The best fitting bra was this ugly granny bra that I got from Nordstroms in a 32E. Bra shopping was a horrible, humiliating experience, that I never really cared to have again. I spent HOURS trying on bras that didn’t fit me. I was a freak, and left with ill fitting bras and a tear stained face. My confidence and self worth was devastated. I probably should have been wearing a 26HH or something, instead of that 32E. There really is no way to tell now, though, but I know about four years post reduction (with a bit of weight gain), I’d measured my ribcage at a 26. So it’s quite possible that at the time, I would have been a 26 band size- or smaller- which they don’t really make now (although some brands are beginning to cater to sub-28 bands)- and most certainly didn’t make back then.
Up until college, I wasn’t really aware that I even had much of a chest. I shudder now, looking at photos and how unsupportive my bras were. And I wonder, “How could I NOT have noticed?” But then, I started college, and I guess I started seeing myself through other people’s eyes- or perhaps I started paying more attention to how I was perceived by other people. I slowly became more aware of male attention being specifically focused on my chest.
I began to really become aware and uncomfortable with my body. I started wearing hooded sweatshirts, the large breasted girl’s favorite hiding place. I wouldn’t go anywhere without a hoodie on, at least in the winter. The summers were harder, because it was so hot, I couldn’t hide my freakish body. In college, there was a guy who was a ‘friend’ of mine who started having ENTIRE conversations with my chest (see above comment on that). I began to avoid him. It just made me SO uncomfortable. I’m not even sure he realized he was doing it. At the end of school, he’d asked me on a date, but I said no. There is no way I’d be able to be alone with him and with that.
**Note to men reading this, while most of us women pretend to NOT notice you staring at our boobs, we do. And most of us don’t like it. It’s extremely rude, and makes you look like a total ass. Please stop having conversations with our breasts. That is not what they are there for. If we wanted to be ogled, we’d walk around topless.**
After my freshman year of college, I got really sick. I won’t go into details, but I had really bad headaches and if I wasn’t laying flat on my back, I would experience such intense pain that I would vomit. I am about 5’6, and at the time of getting sick I was probably 115lbs. After a week in the hospital, I was down to 93lbs. As awful as being that sick was, it had a benefit. My boobs were smaller! But, I knew I needed to gain weight, and as I slowly recovered, so did my weight AND my boobs.

Pre-reduction
I’d only told my cousin and her boyfriend (who was my friend) how I was feeling. I really was hating myself and had such anxiety about speaking to people. And then I read that book, Sweet Memories, and realized that I could maybe change. I was obsessed about it. What size would I want to be, if I could choose any size. I’d decided I’d want to be a B cup (again, now that I KNOW how bras fit, I would have wanted to be a 26DD). And wonders of wonders, junior year of college, a girl (we will call her Carol) moved in across the hall from me who actually had a reduction the previous year. I peppered her with questions. Carol explained to me why she had gotten it done and told me what they had done to her. She looked great, by the way, and we bonded over the issue and became fast friends.
She came with me to see my primary care about getting a reduction. I was under my parents’ insurance and would need the surgery to be approved by insurance in order to have it done. I got the name of the only plastic surgeon on the insurance plan and made an appt. Then I did the really hard thing- I had to tell my parents.
My parents and I have always had a great relationship. They have always been supportive of me, and I really didn’t expect anything different from them. Boy, was I wrong! That first sit down with them was rough. I don’t even recall all the conversation that we’d had. Carol had come with me, to answer any questions about the procedure itself that my parents might have. She explained to them that in her case, she had been overweight and her doctor told her to lose weight first- and I didn’t have any weight to lose.
This part is hard for me to write about, because of how hurt I was about the reaction my parents had. I know that they think I am perfect just the way I am, but some of the things they had said really hurt me. My mom said, “What if you are dating a guy who prefers bigger breasts?” All my life, she had raised me to be independent and not need a guy for self worth, so this comment was rather jaw-dropping. She also said that I would be scarred for life, and she didn’t want me to have ugly scarring. My dad had made a comment about how large my mom had gotten when she was pregnant. I told them that since I wasn’t comfortable with myself, I certainly wasn’t comfortable with a guy, so pregnancy wouldn’t be a possibility- EVER. In the end, I tearfully told them, that although it was their insurance, I was over 18 and it was my decision to make. And I had made it, and would go through with it- with or without their support.
My mom insisted on coming with me to my appointment with the plastic surgeon. She also insisted on being in the room while he examined me. I was an adult, and I was mad at her. I didn’t want her in the room. But I let her, and I’m glad I did. While I was standing there, being poked and prodded by the doctor while my mom watched, I just tried in my mind to be anywhere but there. After the appointment, my mom told me that she didn’t realize how droopy I was without a bra. Yup. It was confirmed- I not only had a granny bra, but I had granny boobs!
Weeks went by, while I waited for the insurance company to either approve or deny my surgery. My hopes and dreams rested in the hands of an HMO…. But then, I got the call. THEY’D APPROVED! Surgery was scheduled for right after school was out. I couldn’t wait! When the day came, I was giddy and excited. Here was the start of my new life. The surgeon’s assistant came in to prep me (wow, was he cute. how embarrassing!! he was going to be assisting?! no, no….). I went in, went to sleep, and woke up a new me. I went home elated- my boobs FINALLY fit the rest of me- inside and out. Then, I passed out.
I thought I’d fallen asleep briefly. But then, it happened again. And mere hours after leaving the hospital, I was on my way back. The ER nurse didn’t take us seriously…. that is, until I passed out in front of her. I woke up on a table in the ER. I was there for five hours until they had a room for me. I had an internal bleed from the surgery. I was to be taken back to surgery the next day. I was not to eat (all day?! ugh), or even stand up. It was a long day. At some point (before or after surgery?), I had a blood transfusion. My poor parents were terrified. But the repair surgery went well, and I was back home in no time.

A week or two after my reduction
I had a newfound confidence. It was fabulous! I finally felt normal. But it wasn’t to last. Shortly after my surgery, I’d started on birth control to regulate my periods. They put me on “the patch,” which sent way too much hormone directly into my blood stream. Within a few months of surgery, my boobs had come back… My doctor insisted it wasn’t from the birth control, but there were other side effects that I didn’t like, so I stopped taking it after six months. My boobs shrunk again, but not back to the size they had been. Regardless, they WERE still smaller than they had been- and more perky. I had no other choice but to live with it. I still had more confidence, and when I went back to school in the fall, people noticed that something was different, but they couldn’t figure out what it was.

One month after my reduction

One month after my reduction

Six months after my reduction
My journey with my boobs and with bras didn’t stop there. With a desk job, and trying other BC pills, I started gaining weight, and with that, my boobs grew and grew. I found www.llswim.com for awesome Freya swimsuits- even though my ribcage at this point was a 26, they fit me into a 30G. It was more comfortable than the 32 F I was in. And then, while desperately searching for tops that might fit me (yes, I was starting to spiral down the self hate spiral again), I stumbled upon Bravissimo. And my life was forever changed. On their Facebook page, I “met” fabulous women, like Georgina, who helped educate me on how bras should fit. I realized that I needed to go down again in the band to a 28 (which is the current size of my ribcage). I now wear 28H/HH, and although I sometimes get annoyed with the size that they are and wish they were smaller, I generally am okay with them.
I live in the states, and here it is really hard to find stores that carry bands under 32. Almost no stores here carry 28. I discovered that most stores don’t think there is a demand for smaller bands (mostly because everyone adds inches to the ribcage to get the band). So, last year, I began a women’s only Facebook group called BRAvolution. http://www.facebook.com/#!/groups/BRAvolution/ It is my mission, and passion, to refit any woman willing to try it. The BRAvolution is also about education. Surprisingly, most women I speak to really have no clue how their bra is supposed to fit. It is painful for me to hear a woman say that her bra is uncomfortable. Because I know it doesn’t have to be. And I know how to fix it.

Two years after my reduction

A recent photo
The states, often times, lacks the sizes needed, though. One day soon, I’d like to open my own lingerie shop to carry a wider range of sizes than is currently available!! I’ll be sure to let Georgina know when I do so she can help me spread the word!

My wedding day
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Tags: bravolution, breast reductions, Lingerie blog
I LOVE IT!! Please DO pursue your store and please DO continue to spread the word. I, too, had a reduction (in 2000 – ‘lollipop procedure’) and am so tremendously happy. There were awful & judgmental reactions before, awful & judgmental reactions to my decision. Minor complications that were overcome. I could not be happier.
Thank you for sharing!
Thank you for your heartfelt comments!! <3
thank you thank you THANK YOU for posting this…I can’t tell you how awesome it is to hear a story I can relate too. I had a breast reduction myself about 7 months ago and, like you, started out very small only to have them balloon right back again! I am much smaller than I was previously, but since have found this blog among others and have been educated about correct bra sizing. Its been quite a journey to come to terms with still being a 32G/GG post reduction, but blogs and posts like this have helped so so SO much. I’m in the states too (why does it seem like our options are so much slimmer (er…wider?) here?) Good luck with your shop, and keep everyone posted!
Will do! It’s always nice to know you aren’t alone! It’s exactly why I decided to tell my story
What a wonderful story, thank you so much for sharing, Laura! I’m curious: do you feel that if you’d known then what you know now, about bra fitting and such, and had had bras in your size available, that you wouldn’t have wanted a reduction? Or are you totally glad you did it, even though you still have a “special” bra size?
I don’t regret it at all. Even though I am back in ‘special’ sizes (by US standards), the shape I have is much better! Of course I wish back then (and now) that there would’ve been my size in stores. But the industry is warming up to the D+ market, so I have hope!
Thank you for your story! I am now 51, finally in a better fitting bra at 32G (ish, you know, they vary). I wore a 34DD for years and probaby should have been in a 30H or even 28H/HH when I was in my early 20′s. It is such a trial to find bras that fit and are comfortable. I live 3 hours or so from decent bra stores. And with menopause beginning (I’ve been in perimenopause for a bit… but I think things are progressing here), I think the bust is getting bigger. I’m not super happy about this and keep cycling back to the idea of a reduction. I gained maybe 5 pounds over the past two years, so I’m going to try to drop that and see if it makes a difference in boobage… if not, I may consider a reduction more seriously.
You have to do what is right for you! I hear weight can fluctuate quite a bit during the pre & menopause years. I wish you luck!! <3
Reblogged this on RoseReads and commented:
For all the ladies like myself whose busty blessing have given the fits and heart ache..something to think about.
Aww, that’s such a great story.
I’m almost 18 and have been wanting a reduction for over a year now because my boobs are so big. I’m an AU12E/F and I hate it. My mum said the same thing yours did and my dad is very old fashioned and thinks me wanting to change my breast size is ridiculous.
There have been many a time where I’ve broken down in a change room because clothes don’t fit me very well.
Oh, Alice. it makes me sad to hear about dressing room breakdowns! It’s taken me a lot of time to finally realize that my mom was just trying to say that I will find a guy who loves me just the way I am. whether or not a reduction was done. just keep communication open with them. be as brutally honest as you can. it is hard, and scary, especially if you aren’t sure of their reaction or support, but they need to know why you want to make this decision. My mom didn’t really get it until she saw me without a bra. so, although I had momentary humiliation, it did help her accept my decision. good luck to you in your journey! <3
We have very similar stories. I probably would not have noticed how big my boobs were if other people didn’t call attention to them in high school. Although, I luckily never met much resistance when I told people about my choice to get a reduction.
I was roughly a 32J/30JJ before and am now in the 30G/GG area.
And I too have dreams of opening my own lingerie store. I live in the states and there is a serious need for more.
There really is! Glad you are happy with your change!
This was really wonderful to read. A little emotional but I am so happy you are happy in your body now.
I’m a 32GG and it took me FOREVER to work up the courage to get properly measured. But that first bra I had that fit well – though HUGE in my opinion and costing half my pay cheque – was a level of comfort I didnt know I could have.
While I’m ok with the size, I worry that my breasts will droop/sag alter on and wouldn’t mind augmentation to keep them “perky.” But that’s a decision for later on in life.
Thank you for sharing your story!
Wonderful post! Really amazing! I had a breast reduction in 2001 and I absolutely never regretted having it. I wanted it since I noticed there were no nice bras with lace or whatsoever, my boobs were growing “down”, you know what I mean, and I had some complications after the surgery too – the first doctor didn’t understand my request and left me smaller, though still a bit hanging. So after 7 months of being even unhappier than before the surgery I found an artist – really, a great surgeon and had the surgery redone.
The whole thing cost me the price of a new nice car, but I am happy with my boobs. They grew later too, but I was happy – mid-sized to big, but not hanging.
Yes, guys used to talk to my chest. I hated it. I hid myself behind vests and scarves.
The reactions were strange. I had to tell where I worked that I was taking one week for the surgery (the first was during my vacations, but the second I couldn’t wait any longer!) and some female colleagues of mine showed envy. I didn’t like their reaction. Not being mean, but it was probably because they wanted too, but couldn’t afford it or didn’t have the courage. I don’t know.
What I know is that since the reduction I feel in peace with my breasts!
Great great post, you look gorgeous!
Thanks! And thank you for sharing your story! Glad you have found peace! A girl I worked with at the time had one done shortly after me. I didn’t tell my work at the time what was going on, but there were rumors and I wasn’t going to deny it! People that knew said I didn’t look any different, by much anyway. It was the droopiness that really got fixed though. I got a half pound out of each side, which I guess is small in reductionland?
hi.. may i ask what technique they used.. i had one 23 yrs ago and he did the original robertson technique.. although i am happier with my looks i have been depressed about the scars and feel less of a woman.. ive gone on to get married and have 4 kids but im newly single again and im scared to death if i will be a freak to men.. they have faded yes.. im in my early 40 so not as perky either.. just wondered if you ever feel depressed about scars..
Hi Shari. I could only describe the technique they used as a ‘lollipop,’ where they cut around the nipple and straight down. I do have a fair amount of scarring, especially on the side that rejected a stitch, but that is honestly not something I focus on when I look in the mirror. I hope you won’t be too self concious about your scars! They are a part of your journey, and any man who would think you a freak for them is not a man for you! <3 Laura
Thank you so much for sharing your story! I am currently a junior in college but have bee wanting a breast reduction since my sophomore year of high school. I’m 5’2 and weigh only 100 lbs. I have a naturally small frame but my cup size is around a e/ee with my back measuring 24 inches. Needless to say, finding a comfortable bra is near impossible. Even with a 30e. I have a consultation soon and I’m so excited! What would you suggest to ensure that post surgery breasts don’t become larger?
Hi Ray. The thing I didn’t take into account was medication. I’d had irregular periods for years, and it wasn’t until after my reduction that I went on birth control to help regulate it. If you aren’t already on it, but are thinking about going on it- do it now. Even though my surgeon said he didn’t think the BC caused addtional growth, I did see a decrease in size once I’d stopped the medication.
My other suggestion is to try some other bra options. Have you tried ordering from Ewa Michalak? http://www.ewa-michalak.pl She can custom make almost any size for no extra charge (you do lose the right to return the custom made, though). I know for sure that she makes 26 bands. I’m sure she could also make a 24. You can also order some of her stuff here: http://www.thebigbrabar.com/index.php/shopbysize.html and those sizes would be retunable. You can inquire with Big Bra Bar to order a 26FF or see if they could get a 24G from EM without the risk to you.
I do know that having such a small ribcage while wearing a 30 band with larger boobs is not a comfortable situation. I would suggest at least trying a 26 band in the proper cup size and see if that helps before having surgery. Back when I had mine done, there weren’t really any sizes under a 32 to try- I wish there had been! (and big busted bras have gotten a lot cuter in the past 11 years!)
<3
Laura