Before I got pregnant with my son I was a curvy 36F and happy with my figure. Then the pregnancy hormones took over or should I say my boobs took over. I very quickly went up to an H cup, which at that time (6yrs ago) was the largest breastfeeding bra I could get. Sadly this was only my first trimester so the boobs just kept growing. That first trimester was the toughest. With the boobs getting bigger and no tummy it just looked like I was putting on weight, and as a curvy woman already, that wasn’t something I wasn’t comfortable with. But lets get back to the boobs not only did they get huge (well I thought they were huge) but they became solid, full, and SORE! I kept being told that I needed to get away from the under wire bras in order to ensure milk flow, but I couldn’t find anything in my cup size without it. I had one bra. It was a nursing bra with huge straps and was utilitarian white cotton, talk about how to make you not feel pretty. Needless to say I lived in that bra, almost wore it right out before my son was even born. By the end of the pregnancy I was too large a cup size to even fit into that H cup, but thankfully my belly held the girls up most of the time for me. Once my son was born then came the hell of trying to breast feed. OK, so what do you do if your breasts are larger that 2 handfuls? How do you hold you breast to your baby for proper latching while holding them? It was a trick that I never sorted out. Having flat nipples meant that my poor boy was trying to latch onto a flat board, and even with a nipple shield (yet another thing I would have to hold onto my breast) it was just impractical for me. I am in awe of the busty moms who manage this juggle.
2 years after my son was born I had gone down to a 38H and stayed there for about 1.5 years. Yes I said went down to a H cup. Some women loose much more cup size after their baby’s finish breast feeding, but mine never did. In fact over the next few years I went up to a J up, which is where I was when we found out we were finally pregnant again. This time I was prepared! (or so I thought) I had found a speciality mom’s shop in the city (Toronto) that carried large cup sizes in Nursing bras. But halfway through my first trimester my boobs were so full and sore I made an emergency trip to La Senza on my lunch break and had to grab some soft cupped bras, settling for a 40DDD to compensate. Now I know it’s not right, I knew the fit wasn’t right, but I needed a soft cup bra without dishing out over $100 knowing i was just going to get bigger. And bigger I did get. Sadly when I went to visit the mommy store they did carry a nursing bra in my size (38K) it was ugly. Huge white thing that came almost up to my neck and made me think i was wearing granny panties on my boobs. Not to mention that to undo the bra to breast feed was next to impossible for me as I have very little fine motor skills left in my hands after multiple surgeries. But considering it was only my second trimester I bore down and bought it ($100+ later) and tried to be OK with it. Once again the boobs just kept getting bigger, and heavier, and fuller….. so that by the time my daughter was born I couldn’t even hold one comfortably in my hands. This time i was thankful that no milk came in for me, I just was not up to fighting my boobs to try and get my daughter to feed. Which was a little heartbreaking as she really seemed to want to. But now 7 months later she is a happy bottle baby and my boobs? Well last i checked I am still a J cup, only now a 34 band size.
Watch this space for me next post. It will be all about the hell of trying to get clothing to fit. (ugh)!