I have a dream. It involves boobs and bras and women. Although not in the way that you may expect…

Let me start at the beginning. As I have said before I never used to understand bra sizes and how to fit myself. It took a lot of nagging from a few friends and a lot of hanging around Bravissimo’s Facebook page before it all clicked for me and I now take that knowledge for granted. I now understand that a women with a 30F bust will not have bigger actual breasts than a woman who is a 38DD, but proportionally compared to her underbust measurement she will be bigger. As I said in this post “Someone with a 38 back with the same volume as someone with 28G boobs will require a 38D bra, as proportionally their boobs will not be as large as the smaller framed person. This is because a 28G has the same cup volume as a 30FF, a 32F, a 34E, a 36DD and a 38D. This should help to show how when we have to downsize or upsize in the band depending on the brand we are using, we also have to do the same in the cup.”
I now know that The Alphabet Does Not Stop At DDD. I know, firsthand, the horrors that can befall women who wear the wrong size bra. And therefore I get really very enraged when I see celebs broadcasting them being ‘x’ size when I know for a fact they must be a few back sizes smaller and a few cup sizes bigger. I experience fits of rage when I see women saying ‘she can’t be a D, I am a D and I am way bigger’ – er hello, BRA SIZES ARE ALL RELATIVE! My housemate aka boyfriend is used to me screaming and shouting at the computer screen or tv screen or magazine at something I have read and thanks to that he could probably fit bras a lot better than many women!

So here is my dream: I want to educate girls and women on how to fit bras and how bra sizes work. I have been known to address random women on the internet, on night’s out, my mother, my sister, my friends, basically EVERYONE and let them know just what I think of their bra size. Some have been successes, my greatest to date my ’34DD’ friend who was cajoled into a 30GG bra in Bravissimo! I try to explain to people why I think that tiny woman over there is not a 36DD and how what you measure under your bust is pretty similar to what your waist measures, therefore teeny waisted women have teeny backs, and teeny backs mean teeny bands! I have wept in frustration as I have tried to make women understand what a bra is meant to do. And I can’t help thinking that there are two major influences to blame for some women being left confused – our education and media influences, particularly busty celebs who either do not understand their correct bra size or prefer to admit some absurd stupid FRUSTRATING size. Hence me wanting to start some sort of programme where I go round schools and talk to young teenage girls about bra fitting and everything else related to that topic. I remember being told how to wipe my bum hygienically at school, how to use sanitary pads, how to put a condom on a banana – well what about teaching girls how to support their breasts? It is something I need to think about and work on.
As I said in my previous posts shoes and bras are very similar. Wouldn’t it be great if we could re write that Cinderella story and have Prince Charming searching the land for the owner of a 34G bra (somehow left on the palace steps…?!) It can’t be the ugly step sister’s, the band is too big, it can’t be the step mother’s her breasts are spilling out of the cups, it must be Cinderella’s as the band is snug, the gore is flat and the cups are perfect…a bit of an x rated fairytale but I think it could work! I’m looking at you Pablo Wapsi!


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